A Good Time was had by all, unless you're with a Borderline!

Ever notice how life feels BAD with your BPD lover, when it really should feel GREAT?

Borderlines ALWAYS act-out around important dates: Mother's Day, their birthday, holidays, even Valentines Day.

At their baseline, Borderlines have NEVER felt joyful or content. Holidays are regarded by them as special times of year they "should" feel happy, yet they CAN'T because it’s just not in their wheelhouse. This is when they go searching for a fly in their (relationship) ointment, to mentally justify why they cannot feel good, light and cheerful.

Their sullen mood or the fight they pick with you, has NOTHING whatsoever to do with You! If they look hard enough, they might find something to pick on you about~ whether it has any validity or not. Bottom line, molehills routinely become mountains in their world (no matter how well things are going) because they literally cannot tolerate feeling sensations of happiness for longer than a minute or two.

Borderlines miraculously find reasons to be upset or discontent on vacations, or when you’re flying or driving home from one. They feel defective, if they can't access feelings that are 'celebratory' during special occasions, like they imagine everyone else does. They shame and get angry with themselves about this inexplicable concern, and those feelings are instantly projected onto you, as being the “cause” of them!

Be prepared for a Borderline to rain on your parade (or immediately thereafter), during any and all 'special' occasions. Genuine feelings of contentment and joy are foreign to a BPD individual, and always trigger anxiety pertaining to, "when’s the other shoe gonna drop~ and when it does, I must emotionally pre-prepare for disappointment and disaster."

This issue in your BPD lover is NOT your fault, and there's literally nothing you can do to fix or change it for 'em. You’re with a deeply fractured, core-traumatized person. They’ve grown to anticipate and expect abandonment, and relationships not working out well for them.

Many years or decades may pass before one of these individuals begins to come out of the ether, and realizes that all their romantic failings are due to only one factor: THEY are the common denominator in all their failed attempts at romance and love. Incidentally, if a Borderline speaks to you about how “abusive” his/her past lovers or spouses were, be sure to ask, “whatever happened to the few who were loving, supportive, generous, kind and adoring?”

They’ll either tell you they didn’t have similar enough life goals, they grew apart, or those relationships were “boring.” Borderlines thrive on intensity, which usually comes packaged with drama, chaos and conflict in their relationships. These strong feelings generate sensations of ‘aliveness’ in an otherwise emotionally empty human vessel that has dissociated from their emotions since around the age of 2 - 3 years old.

Finally, when an individual can’t or won’t experience and learn to endure their own emotions, how the fuck are they ever gonna be equipped to identify with and relate or respond to Yours?