All the world loves a Quick Fix

But NOBODY'S an overnight sensation!

When we build something/anything, it requires some planning, energy and time. The same holds true when we’ve decided to construct a healthier, happier, more vibrant and successful Self.

I’ve worked with a number of clients who’ve engaged in get-rich-quick schemes or relied on psychics, personality determining tests that define ‘em by several letters, or even, psychotherapists to help them discover who they really are. But are any of these measures reliable, in terms of catalyzing genuine and positive change in one’s life experiences~ or are they just part of a hopeful (and costly) set of shifting psych-babble paradigms that cater to the part of our human nature that’s drawn to wishful thinking? And where has that ever gotten us?!

Are many of these new-age “methods” akin to the snake-oil salesmen of old? When the absurd diagnosis, “CPTSD” started making the rounds, I simply thought, UGH~ what a crock of horseshit! A lovely former BPD client who was terrified to let me help her get well, years later found her way to a psychiatrist who gave her this convenient label. CPTSD (“Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”) is a psychiatric doctor’s deflection, when he or she is too emotionally timid and frail to reveal an accurate diagnosis to a Borderline Personality Disordered individual, for fear of hurting their feelings and/or losing them as a patient. There~ I’ve finally stated this publically (and believe me, it’s been brewing for quite some time)!

If you went to a medical doctor with pain in your body, would you want them to be able and willing to accurately diagnose and treat you~ or would you need ‘em to walk on eggshells and apply diagnostic euphemisms that cloak what are clearly identifiable as symptoms pertaining to a specific condition or disease?! This kinda dishonesty in the psychotherapeutic world, is nothing short of utterly enraging to me.

Incidentally, Borderlines in past years have thanked me via email, for my highly detailed, straightforward BPD articles, having had the curiosity and exceptional courage to read them, and share ‘em with their parents and psychiatrist! “I knew something was wrong with me,” they stated~ “I just never knew what it was, before reading your materials!” It seems even Borderlines aren’t fans of feeling clueless about their day-to-day struggles with life and love.

I figure anything worth having, is worth working for. If you expect life to throw you riches, contentment, joy or even love, you’ve got another thing coming~ and its name is, Disappointment. Many people have been reluctant to depend on me for help, due to having faced disappointing past experiences with other professionals or modalities of treatment that have failed to produce concretely favorable outcomes for them. Sadly, many have been “in treatment” for decades!

This type of experience can surely feel disheartening, and deter one’s willingness to put their faith or trust in a healing modality, even if it’s proven foolproof when one commits to using the methods presented to them, for more than a novel week or two. It’s amazing to me, how after decades of doing life utterly wrong and ending up miserable, people still wanna believe that altering those deeply entrenched behavior and thought patterns for a miniscule amount of time, will reverse all their dysfunction. (And pigs can fly.)

It’s difficult to put your faith in someone when time after time, your experiences have yielded poor results. It’s hard enough for us humans to find a way to believe we can actually heal and feel happy and fulfilled, when we’ve encountered so much failure and disappointment during our time inhabiting these bodies! Trust me, I get it.

I didn’t start out strong. Far from it. Oh, I was a bold, happy infant and toddler, but due to various life conditions and circumstances, those early manifestations of my feisty personality and spirit gave way to suicidal depression at the tender age of 20.

When we have a lot of instability, neglect or trauma to surmount in childhood, it either defeats us, or makes us tougher (IF we are willing to stick around long enough to rebuild ourselves from the ground up). I chose the latter path of most resistance, because I knew for certain, I never wanted to be in that much inner pain ever again.

Since losing my beloved home to January’s wildfires, many people have commented on my spirit and attitude. “How can you be smiling and joyful after losing literally everything?!” they ask incredulously. I’ve honestly not known how to answer ‘em. All I know is, what they’re observing must be a kind of proof in the pudding~ or perhaps the outcome of having doggedly pursued years of healing and emotional growth, in order to become a happy and contented soul during this lifetime.

Happiness to me, never looked like owning a home, being in a magnificent love affair or marriage, having kids, etc. Happiness and contentment have merely been abstract ideals I always wanted to strive for. Whatever came attached to those emotional states of being as a young woman, I knew I’d gladly accept. And here I am.

Shit happens in life, and some of it we can never prepare for emotionally. We can’t see it coming, we can’t decide beforehand how we’re gonna manage it, and the only way I’ve been able to cope with this element of unpredictability, is to make a habit of taking nothing for granted, and rolling with the punches as best I can.

Have I lost my sense of humor after this fiery debacle? Apparently not. Has my sense of joyfulness been ripped out of my personality structure? Nope. Alas, I am still Me~ with all that entails. To be perfectly honest, living under the Biden regime those past 4 years and almost completely losing my sense of optimism in the process, was far more painful for me than THIS shocking curveball has been!

I’ve perhaps had more than my fair share of trials and tribulations during this lifetime, so please forgive me if it ever seems like I’m gloating. I surely don’t mean to come off that way… but I share with you these parts of me in hopes they’ll provide a modified, improved frame of reference for ya, in contrast to the one you grew up with.

The truth is, I’ve felt happier in the past several months, than I’ve felt in years. It feels a bit awkward to convey this, because even I feel incredulous about communicating it~ and you’re certainly entitled to react similarly. There’s apparently something about turning a new leaf or starting over, that’s invigorating. Who knew?!

During my lengthy hotel sojourns after January 6th’s wildfires, people around me said, you’re gonna write a book about all this, and it’ll be inspiring to others. I don’t know if I have a book in me about that event, but I’m sensing my posts are helping me get to the other side of it, particularly if they’re shining a light on something even remotely related to life’s setbacks, and offering you, my reading public another way of looking at your own life, capacity to love yourself and others, and most of all, Healing.