Beware of false prophets, or those who know less than they want you to think they do.
I've known about Sam Vaknin, supposedly "the world's foremost authority on Narcissism," since before most of you were born. I never got much into his writings, because they seemed more like the resentful rantings of a jilted lover still trying to recover from that painful experience, than anything else. Sam's writings didn't capture My attention, because they seemed somewhat pedestrian. Still, writing about our pain can bring about catharsis, and I hope he got some trauma relief.
A lot of people appear to glorify this 'Narcissism Guru,' because for the first time in their life, they're being exposed to a plethora of traits in their loved ones, they can at long last, label as "NARCISSISM." Thus, their confusion, inner turmoil and frustration is at last eased, due to being able to assign a diagnostic "label" to why their outcome with another was so excruciating.
Vaknin in recent years coined the term, "Malignant Narcissist," presumably to describe the most dramatic fallout from having loved someone who could be considered far end of the spectrum, narcissistic. But what actually IS "malignant narcissism?"
It's the lack of any boundaries, impulse control or empathy from an individual who has acute Borderline Personality Disorder features, and turns your existence into a living Hell. It's someone who gaslights you, lies to you, cheats on you, criticizes, shames and diminishes you, and has no regard whatsoever, for your happiness or well-being. In fact, it often seems they're out to utterly destroy you! They also play 'victim,' if you have the ego strength to stand up for yourself, and challenge their distorted, non-sensical opinions or views.
Yes, Narcissism CAN seem malignant or highly toxic, but this is because this individual's personality disorder is mislabeled. They are actually a BORDERLINE, an ALL Borderlines are narcissistic!!! Narcissism is simply part of the terrain, when it comes to all personality disorders: Anti-social, Codependent, Defiant, etc.
Even the sweetest, kindest, most generous Borderlines who have pathological codependency traits can LEVEL you with a look or phrase that casts you immediately into your shame zone, and tosses you into an emotional hole so deep, it could take weeks or months to climb out of and rebalance from.
There is no such thing, as "malignant narcissism," except as it relates to an intimate understanding of BPD, which is apparently STILL uncharted territory for Vaknin. I'm surprised by his naivete, but In truth, most of the world has never yet heard of Borderline Personality Disorder, which I guess is why I've come to be known worldwide, as the quintessential "expert" in the arena of BPD.
It must be mentioned here, that Mr. Vaknin has NEVER worked therapeutically with personality disorders or the people who have them, which renders his bank of knowledge exceedingly questionable. In my eyes at least, his materials are sorely lacking in substance, which is what I felt about 'em, several decades ago.