Borderlines don't 'ripen' and get better with age~ they're far more likely to rot.

If you're thinking that Borderlines mellow or get easier to live with as they age, you're dead wrong. If it's a BPD female, her transition into and thru menopausal years could be murder on ya, because hormone fluctuations exacerbate emotional instability.

Secondly, due to suppression and dissociation from emotions lifelong, people with BPD traits very rarely stay healthy as they age. Chronic, painful physical conditions (cancer, fibromyalgia, diabetes, migraine headaches, multiple sclerosis, intestinal disorders) are very common among Borderlines, and YOU end up being their full- time caregiver... nurse, mommy, therapist, etc.

A stressful relationship tends to create cancer in a woman's estrogen centers of her body (uterus, breasts, ovaries) whereas in men, it typically strikes in the evacuation centers of the body (bladder, kidneys, liver, prostate, intestines).

We are not meant to live with stress. If we have a job or career, we're slaying dragons and putting out fires all day long. We require a soft place to LAND when we get home at night. If we walk into strife and chaos at home, there's no place or time to recharge our batteries and restore ourselves. Over time, this takes its toll on us, 'cause half the time we're doing battle at home, and the rest of the time, we're facing the challenges we must, at work.

I look at career and home life, like having two lovers. You can't effectively give your heart to both, if either one makes demands on you the other can't give you respite from.

You may think you love your Borderline, but is this relationship worth risking Your good health for? It's easy to say "yes" today, but people with BPD whittle and wear ya down, until you can't remember the guy or gal you used to be, before you met that person.

A lotta people need tremendous stimulation in their life, just to avert boredom or feelings of emptiness. Is that you? Does it even MATTER if the stimulation you're getting from someone is positive or negative~ as long as they're distracting you from having to feel stuff you'd rather not, during the quiet times you have alone with you?

This is the central reason many remain in a BPD relationship. I guess for them, it's easier to defend against someone else beating em up emotionally, than when they're doling out that abuse to themselves!

If you can learn to completely stop being hard on you, there's no way on God's green planet, you'll tolerate anyone else being hard on ya either. This means, you'll never again be attracted to people who criticize, diminish and find fault with you.

Sounds pretty fucking good to ME!