Calling 'misinformation,' on Robert Malone.
One must use caution, when quoting and/or reposting material that's not accurate.
Robert Malone (for whom I have tremendous respect and admiration) has highlighted and promoted text on the topic of “Online Narcissistic Self-Victimization.” Sorry, but I can’t help but disagree with and debunk his offering. Oh, it’s plausible alright, but highly inaccurate.
Victimization (by oneself or anyone else) is solely a Borderline Personality Disorder feature~ particularly, the Waif-type Borderline. My article, BORDERLINE WAIFS AND UNSUNG HEROES - Rescuing the Woman who doesn’t want to be saved” goes into vast detail about the victim-identification aspect in Borderlines, and how they typically seduce others by eliciting their sympathy.
Incidentally, many people with borderline traits become sickly and physically impaired from their early twenties, onward. You’ll seldom find a middle-aged Borderline who is physically sound and healthy, due to having dissociated from painful emotions lifelong, which the body stores as dis-ease.
ALL Borderlines are emotionally underdeveloped. They’re like toddlers living in adult-sized bodies. They have no capacity for impulse-control, boundaries (and borders) or EMPATHY. They are capable of feeling sympathy, yes~ but empathy (the ability to identify with and relate to another’s perspectives, inner-experiences and pain), no. Have you ever tried to share your innermost concerns with a three year-old??
These traits are common in the narcissistic personality as well, but Narcissists and people with NPD do NOT typically identify as VICTIMS, nor do they manipulate others by making them feel guilty, ashamed and sorry for them ~ while Borderlines, definitely DO. People with BPD traits routinely use projection and gaslighting to manipulate and control their partners, which is why the Borderline’s acting-out behaviors are often referred to as, “crazy-making.”
I’ve been writing about Borderline Personality Disorder for well over two decades, having penned 25 articles on this topic. Borderlines (if given the chance) are emotional vampires, who’ll captivate and engage your sympathy until they suck you dry, and you’ve become a mere shadow of your former self. Their woeful, pitiful stories make you wanna rescue ‘em from the struggles, pain and “trauma” of past relationships. Narcissists on the other hand, cannot tolerate nor allow for ANY vulnerability within the Self.
Narcissists hyper-compensate for feelings of unworthiness and unlovability with grandiose, over-giving, controlling, pathologically Codependent behaviors. This is how they seduce! If they occasionally approach feeling sorry for themselves, it is ONLY when their compulsive over-giving is not in the least appreciated nor reciprocated, which is when they can access feelings of resentment, and martyr themselves along the lines of, “No good deed goes unpunished!”
Seems everyone “knows” about Narcissists (or so they think), yet very few people in the psychotherapeutic community have even the most basic knowledge about Borderline pathology (imagine My surprise). THESE are your “victim-types,” NOT the mighty Narcissist (male OR female), who has worked tenaciously at constructing an invincible (false) self, to surmount substantial maternal deficits during infancy and early childhood.
These emotional deficits spawned by an impaired (often, BPD) mother who wasn’t equipped to return a child’s adoration or meet his emotional needs, turned him into a caregiver, fixer, rescuer type. This is how he learned to derive vicarious satisfaction in childhood (by giving what he desperately needed, but could not receive) and this faulty behavior follows him into adulthood.
The Codependent (needing to be needed) Narcissist is powerfully drawn to Borderlines who convince him of how “abused and mistreated” they’ve been by past lovers, spouses or friends. They are in fact, often cut from the same cloth as good ol’ Mom, so he will endlessly try to ‘buy’ their love and acceptance, as he did as a child.
My article, HAVEN’T WE MET BEFORE? The Borderline/Narcissist Couple is a comprehensive, deep-dive into the relationship mechanics of why Narcissists and Borderlines gravitate to each other like they’re a match made in Heaven! In truth, when one party is a super-giver, he or she is compelled to find a partner who is a bottomless pit of need, and hungrily takes whatever is given! The Universe after all, seeks balance does it not?