If you haven't reached a place of comfort with NOT answering an email (or even, opening it) or returning a phone call that's not urgent, try practicing this NEW way of functioning better. In short, don't swallow the 'curiosity' hook, because no good ever comes of it.
My point is, start taking better care of YOU, than you're used to doing. The "good little boy or girl" inside you might think you OWE someone a response, but ya don't! If you run into a toxic ex at a party or public function, you have ZERO obligation to allow them contact with you!
IF you see them heading in your direction ('cause with Borderlines, lit's truly never over, till the fat lady sings) turn on your heel when ya see 'em coming, head to the john or ANYWHERE else, and avoid their tormenting ass! If you think maybe he or she has changed by now, you're delusional.
Males seem to have a hard time avoiding contact with an ex, 'cause they THINK it means they're "weak." This isn't weakness, folks. It's just plain ol' common sense! They broke your balls while you were together, and they cannot STAND the notion of being forgotten!
Don't put it past your ex to send you X-mas or B'day cards. Don't rest assured they won't text or call you to check in, whenever they feel bored for a moment with their new victim. As I state in my BPD articles, the only acceptable contact with that person post-breakup, is NO CONTACT. Zilch! Nada! Zero!
Yes, it feels nice to sense they're "thinking of you," but their outreach has NOTHING whatsoever to do with You! It's all about THEM. They're feeling a bit flat, uninspired, dead inside, bored in their current relationship, so why not shake it up a little, and call an ex-lover (or two or three)?
This is typical BPD behavior, folks. I've written volumes about it~ so don't flatter yourself, thinking they give a shit about you! They didn't while they were WITH you, and they don't now. Besides, do you REALLY wanna keep pining over that twunt who broke your balls every chance she or he got? Do you owe him or her a millisecond of your time and energy NOW? No, you do not!
If you're THIS starved for attention, go troll a bar looking for it... just don't take anyone's number home with ya, because 9 times outta 10, you'll be dating another Borderline. Healthy people who LIKE themselves and enjoy their own company, don't hang out in bars.
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I learned a new word today, twunt. 😅
Thanks for that.
LOL... I wish I could say it's a Schreiber original, but a couple I'm friends with, came up with this one. You're welcome!