Did YOU get picked on as a kid?
Way back in grammar school, the worst name you could be called by other kids was, "Goodie Two-Shoes." It meant you engaged in people-pleasing, ass-kissing behaviors intended to manipulate others into seeing you more favorably than you saw yourself.
IT STILL DOES. Codependency is utterly rampant in today's world. Even millions of Borderlines engage in over-giving, people-pleasing behaviors, for fear they may not be viewed as PERFECT and without flaw, by others.
Most therapists have both Coda and BPD traits, and I've personally known many, prior to separating myself from the psychotherapeutic community in 2007, 'cause it seemed the healthiest choice for me.
A gal wrote and thanked me for writing my BPD Male article. She's realized that loving her defective guy "unconditionally" does not make it okay or healthy for her to remain with him (after getting dropped on her head).
I wrote her back this morning, stating that her problem wasn't about loving this dude "unconditionally." Her PROBLEM is, she's never learned HOW to grow healthy self-worth and genuine empowerment, so that she's NEVER again susceptible to making this type of relationship choice!
Sometimes ya gotta look beyond the symptom you're struggling with, and get help to dismantle and heal the root CAUSE of it that drives ya to do what ya do, over and over again, while expecting a different result.
Just a little reminder, folks: Wishful thinking never works out the way ya want it to.