Dysfunction ALWAYS has a root cause. If ya don't look deep enough, you'll miss it.

Women's Liberation and Unforeseen Long-range Repercussions.

I suppose I shoulda been a Women’s lib activist, but that trend somehow eluded me. Perhaps (age-wise) I skipped over it, or was too preoccupied with surmounting my childhood trauma, and figuring out ways to rebuild myself from the ground up. In any case, I think the liberation movement was a good thing for females, particularly as it pertained to equal pay with men in the workplace (did that even stick??).

I’m not here to judge. I’m not here to wag any fingers or rewrite history. I’ve just lately begun to look at the Big Picture, and wonder how the fuck we even GOT here (to this crazy, mixed-up, irrational place) and hypothesize about possible root causes, which could never have been recognized when they were first implemented.

Decades ago, there was a huge billboard above La Cienega Boulevard that was seen by northbound traffic in Los Angeles. It sported 4 very attractive, smiling women. The text on this sign read, “We’ve finally become the men we always wanted to marry.”

I laughed out loud when I saw this! I was fiercely independent from an early age, likely because I had to be. This determination is fairly typical for children who struggled with neglect, and figured out that if they didn’t learn how to take care of themselves, nobody would. Call it self-preservation or whatever you like~ but in all my years of assisting people’s growth and healing, my toughest, most determined clients all shared the same early childhood deficits.

Today, we have males (not Men, because this word implies that one has developed into full adulthood) competing in women’s sports. Frankly, it’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever observed! Even within the sport of boxing (the only one I’ll occasionally watch), you’ll NEVER see a featherweight paired for a match with a heavyweight~ and yet, somehow a few morons decided to let biological males who typically far exceed women in weight and height, beat the shit outta gals in the ring. Are we totally nuts to even think of allowing this lunacy??

On the other hand, guys dressing in drag who wear meticulously applied makeup are, if we’re honest with ourselves, considerably more feminine in looks and mannerisms, than a lotta women these days. The question begs to be asked: Has The Universe ironically filled a void??

I never had any desire to compete with males… for anything. I was content with having been born female, and while I trusted my (get it done, no matter what!) masculine energy more than my feminine energy and had a serious case of penis envy (love those marvelous male parts!), I enjoyed being a girl.

It always seemed to me, other females couldn’t recognize the power they possessed. We don’t have to fight for what we need the same way a man does, we have our own powerfully feminine strategies that (if applied and utilized correctly) help men WANT to give us what we need from ‘em! Sadly, very few gals ever got this education~ and to make matters worse, they don’t understand men or the masculine archetype!

I have long-marveled about how unaware of their feminine power most women are, and considered it a real shame. Men need to feel heroic. It’s built into their DNA. The masculine archetype is that of Protector and Provider. If males have no women or kids to protect and provide for, how’re they gonna get to be Heroes?? They can’t.

Plenty of males suffer with a partner who throws emasculating, castrating comments at ‘em, if he disappoints them in any way. Those words land like battery acid on skin, and are not forgotten~ and you wonder why so many men these days take Viagra or Cialis, just to get it up and keep it up in bed?? A man can only maintain an erection, if he feels emotionally safe with a woman~ yet I’ve spoken with many gals who complain that their husband hasn’t fucked them in months. Gee, what a surprise.

Perhaps as women became tougher, more aggressive and more competitive with men in their passionate fight to gain far more respect (not adoration) they lost something valuable in the process. Please know, I’m not trying to chisel anything in stone, here~ and God knows, I am not looking for anyone to agree with my observations or theories! I’m merely curious about how we got from point A to point Z, in a matter of a few decades.

I don’t consider myself to be ultra-feminine, but men have always found me alluring. I’m fully accepting and comfortable with myself, and I think that’s been a strong part of my appeal with men. No man can be comfortable with a woman who isn’t at ease with herself (or her body). Place the shoe on the other foot, and you’ll know I’m right about this. No female wants to spend time with an insecure, unconfident male, unless she’s a controlling Borderline who needs to have the upper hand, and remain in the driver’s seat in her relationship dynamic.

I was fairly wise at an early age. I never wanted to be a man’s mommy, nurse or shrink! I wanted only to be his Woman, and share a balanced, loving, harmonious, mutually trusting relationship bond. And so it went~ it’s what I manifested.

I sometimes wonder if so many males these days are inclined to look and act like females, because a societal void was created. Remember, this piece is NOT about casting blame one way or the other~ it’s just an exploratory journey into why things may have played out as they have, and perhaps other inquiring minds (besides mine) wanna know!

In younger years, I spent a period of time in the company of gay males. I think I needed a break of sorts from the dating scene, and have always loved men, regardless of their sexual preference. I’ll never forget one night when a fellow at the party of a close friend made a snide, cunty remark. I said to him jokingly, you’re such a little cunt! ~to which he replied, “that’s Cuntress, dear.” It cracked me up!

I adore men, always have and always will. I’ve been cautious romantically and have fully vetted ‘em, IF I thought they might be Relationship Material (rather than just another roll in the hay). Frankly, I’ve been betrayed and hurt far more by females in this lifetime than males… but that’s another essay.

As for the term “toxic masculinity,” which some gals love to throw around haphazardly, it doesn’t compute for me, and never has. Frankly, if I were to discern a suitable place for it to be appropriately descriptive and applicable, it would be within the realm of dysfunctional, misogynistic males with unresolved ‘mommy’ issues, who (like spousal abusers) are at last, getting to transfer their lifelong rage onto any female they get a chance to lay their hands on, without worrying about gettin’ arrested for it.

Ask any heterosexual male today, how safe he feels in the world of women. He can’t even look at a gal in a bar, without being accused of harassment. He can’t hold a door open for a female without incurring angry accusations that he’s a chauvinist, a pig, a defiler of women’s rights, etc. He dares not bed someone he meets without serious fear she’s gonna falsely accuse him of rape and extort him for big bucks, or entrap him by getting pregnant, and he’ll be the hapless ‘sperm donor’ who’s financially supporting her and her kid for the next 18 years, whether he can afford to or not!

If a segment of our male population is preferring ultra-feminine transexuals to real women these days, and chivalry has all but taken its last breath, then perhaps my friends, it’s worth digging just a bit beneath the surface of our current bizarre reality, to discover why everything seems so fucking “weird.”