For many, going to "therapy" is simply another addiction.
Getting well emotionally, takes diligent effort. Growing genuine self-worth requires constant reprogramming of both the conscious and subconscious mind.
Many don't want to do foundational work to bring about significant and positive changes for themselves. It's human nature to wanna stay with what feels familiar and therefore, comfortable.
If you've built your house on a crumbling foundation (a negative opinion of yourself, a punishing/critical attitude toward yourself and compulsions to self-sabotage), how long will your home hold up and endure under extreme weather conditions?
People with BPD traits ALL have self-sabotaging reflexes. They get nervous when life's going too well, and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop (a conditioned response from routine and regular destabilizing experiences throughout childhood).
Crisis, drama and chaos are familiar feeling-states for someone with borderline personality features. Mostly, their setbacks occur due to shortsighted, bad choices they make in their business and personal life.
When someone offers the Borderline Personality genuine care and love, they reject it, push away from it, and find reasons not to remain attached to the person providing these supplies. One's rejection of love and care is driven by feelings of UNWORTHINESS, that have clung to Borderlines lifelong.
If we cannot deep-down FEEL deserving and worthy of good fortune, prosperity and real love (not just "think" we are), and OWN our worth, we will continually run from these elements, if/when they show up in our life! Lovers who supply us with nourishing attachment experiences ultimately "bore" us., and we search for reasons to reject them and leave (even if the "reasons" are manufactured purely in our imagination).
People with BPD traits cannot feel worthy of receiving the GOOD in life, because their infancy and childhood experiences were deprived of it. They go to therapy ONLY when a life crisis hits, yet never stay for the growth work that can only take place when there are no dragons to slay or fires to extinguish.
Thus, Borderlines continue lifelong, to circle the drain. They keep making the same romantic choices that force them to feel about themselves as they did as young children (never good enough or lovable). They sabotage their businesses, just short of grabbing the brass ring~ or attaining substantial success.
WHY does this happen? Because for the Borderline Personality, happiness can only remain an elusive fantasy. Feelings of real joy are terrifying for someone with BPD traits, because they are foreign, and uncomfortable. The Borderline experiences anxiety in the ABSENCE of emotional pain. It's been their constant companion throughout their entire life, and they feel adrift and lost without it.
Some highly-determined Borderlines can grow emotionally, successfully raise self-worth (with the proper tools) and outgrow BPD traits that have left them with toxic narcissism, poor impulse control, pathological Codependency and a lack of genuine empathy and boundaries, but the majority will not.
Meaningful therapeutic work assists a client in growing beyond their current limitations and dysfunctional patterns of thought and behavior. Psychotherapy is for the most part, CRISIS oriented. It's intended to treat the SYMPTOM of a disorder, rather than eliminating it at its very core or foundation~ which is why BPD persists in epidemic proportions within societies all over the globe.
As with any other important or meaningful endeavor, true HEALING work means there will be growing pains along the way, but every client must decide whether it's scarier to risk changing in positive ways, or stay precisely as they are.