Great Sex and Love seldom come in the same package.

Learn to differentiate between the two!

Some BPD sympathizers have assumed I wrote 25 articles on this topic, because I’d been “hurt by a Borderline.” They think I have some sort of vendetta against this segment of our population, because I’m mortally wounded.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Everything I know and understand about BPD has come from working directly with people who had these traits, and ex-lovers or spouses who wanted to commit suicide, after having been dropped on their head by a Borderline they’d trusted to love them “forever.” Right… and pigs can fly.

I was extremely cautious during my dating career, about who I gave my heart to for safe keeping, having had enough abandonment as a young child to last me several lifetimes. My ‘antennae’ were always circling, picking up on even the slightest cues that someone might be unbalanced, or emotionally untrustworthy. I was lucky in love, strictly due to this hypervigilance at a young age.

I chose good men. Honest men. Loving men. Emotionally safe men. These were men I sensed I could trust before sexualizing those relationships. Oh, I had plenty of lovers, and a rich sex life for many years… but when it came to assessing a man’s potential as relationship material, I was extraordinarily discerning. I knew I had to be, to survive.

Ladies, ya gotta learn how to separate sex and love. Very few people who give ya intense pleasure in bed, are relationship material. Ya have to stop thinking with your cunt, and start letting your head and gut instincts guide you~ or ya don’t stand a chance in the world of men.

As an older female friend once said to me in my thirties, “Ya can’t make a fruit salad out of a banana!” Enjoy the banana, but don’t try to assign characteristics and qualities to it, it simply doesn’t have.

I float this to you ladies, so that you can start learning how to enjoy SEX without having to morph it into more than that, due to faulty, early parental programming that may have told you to “save it for the one you love.” This, and the fact we do not allow ourselves to find out who we really are (sexually and otherwise) before we marry, is why our divorce rate is so frigging high.

Little boys and young men weren’t subjected to absurd programming like this, and they don’t feel guilty after having sex if they can’t see a future with someone~ so why should We? Myriad contraceptive devices were invented and developed just for us females, so go on and get yourself manhandled (it’s just a favorite term of mine). Enjoy sex for its own sake, and keep looking for someone who can adore you just as you are~ if that’s still what you’re really wanting.