I suppose we all secretly love saying, "I told ya so" ~but it's a hollow victory, when a client self-sabotages.
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt, is fine. But it's vital to ask ourselves, why do we hang in there, when the Red Flags have already started flapping in the breeze?
Are we afraid of hurting them, or are we unwilling to feel regret or disappointment, because we made a short-sighted decision, and we don't wanna admit it was probably a mistake?
Are we just not wanting to be alone with Ourselves, after this exciting, feel-good distraction came along, and gave us hope for a different or brighter tomorrow, and reinvigorated our fantasies of Happily Ever After?
Insecure people stay too long at the fair when it comes to romance, because they desperately crave the validation and mirroring a new relationship provides. Vampires thrive on blood. Relationship addicts thrive on New Blood.
You can't TEACH someone to recognize red flags when they consistently choose to overlook or excuse them. All ya can really DO, is wait around for the heartache that inevitably follows, because the Romantic Optimist has chosen to spend more time and invest themselves more deeply in another, who wasn't right for them in the first place.
Personal agendas are kind of fascinating, but diabolical. They don't prevent us from SEEING the 'handwriting on the wall,' they merely dissuade us from taking it seriously, when it fails to serve our "Big Love Forever" agenda.
Little relationship speed-bumps turn into larger ones, the longer you stick around with someone. A lotta people like to say, "well, NOBODY'S perfect," which is most certainly true. But folks who hang too long with someone waiting for irrevocable, concrete PROOF there's no future in it for 'em, should trade in their rose-colored glasses for prescription strength magnifiers.
It's either this, or be willing to accept the inevitable pain and shame that comes from neglecting to trust their Intuition and Instincts that pre-warned 'em of what was surely to come.
Excellent article even by your high standards