If there's ONE THING you'd change about yourself, what would it be?
Humans resist change, because being without an issue that's always plagued them, brings up some level of anxiety or fear. This is often simply a case of “staying with the Devil we know,” because if we’ve never experienced light, good, contented feelings, it’s impossible (without uniquely specialized help) to accommodate and feel comfortable with these brand-new sensations!
"Who would I BE, if I were thinner, healthier emotionally, or more successful?" Would I have to contend with a whole new set of concerns or compromises? Since I've grow to feel SAFE the way I am right now, why would I wanna rock the boat?!"
We can SAY we really want something, but if we're not actively moving toward reaching that aim, do we really WANT it?? Our Subconscious mind holds the key to why we remain stagnant, even if it's just to keep shaming and criticizing ourselves about something we think we "should" be doing or changing.
Early childhood programming is reliable, for keeping our potentially life-fulfilling obstacles in place. Entitlement issues we formed around the age of two, continue to be reinforced by our behaviors and choices, so that our inner script that asserts, "I'm not lovable or good enough," is maintained as an irrefutable narrative that remains with us lifelong.
If your parents by their actions and words, convinced you that you weren't WORTHY of their affection, you'll always presume they were right about you, because who knows you better than they?! In some way, we automatically accept THEIR perceptions of us as valid and true. If we CHALLENGE their perceptions of us by getting right with Ourselves and negating Their view of WHO we really are, our sense of unity and 'belonging' to them is threatened, is it not?
Sad to say, few clinicians are knowledgeable or equipped to give us self-affirming TOOLS to dismantle our critical, shaming inner-narrative, so that neuro-pathways in our brain can be rerouted into healthier, uncompromised tissue, which helps us surrender our reflexes to bludgeon ourselves.
These tools seem absurdly simplistic, but they work~ and if they didn't, you'd have never, ever heard of me! I invented several emotionally affirming 'power tools' to turn my OWN life around back in my late-twenties - early thirties, so I could succeed in this lifetime, and experience genuine happiness and contentment.
These tools have served me, and many of clients very well...
but you must FIRST be willing to accept and embrace the fact that your parental units were dreadfully WRONG about you, and incapable of loving a child (any child).