I'm judgmental of people who try too hard to be noticed, by making themselves look bizarre or grotesque. I feel distain toward fat or obese people, because they have no self-respect or regard for their health and well-being~ yet somehow expect YOU to love and respect them.
I'm biased toward anyone who's inconsiderate and lacks empathy. I have an extremely low threshold for incompetent and/or stupid people. I assess and judge you on your merit and actions, not your skin color, ethnicity or religious beliefs~ unless you're compelled to shove 'em down MY throat.
I'm prejudiced, and I'm pretty darned certain that if you're honest with yourself, YOU are too. You're entitled to your opinions and preferences. It's part of being human.
Do you remember when KKK members, better known as ‘skinheads’ were often in the news? This is when the term, “White Supremist” was being bandied about in the “news,” and many of us felt judgmental and prejudiced against that group of individuals! My point is, unless you act-out violently or destructively toward others or their property, your personal biases and prejudices don't MAKE you a "bad person."
If you refuse to date someone who's fat, disabled, has health issues or is covered with grotesque body ornamentation that runs contrary to your personal preferences or biases, it's your prerogative! We all have the right to reject another based on what our higher wisdom determines will require too much of us in terms of time, attention and care. You’re not a terrible person, if you place your own priorities and needs above someone else’s!
Many years ago, I enjoyed an online exchange with a man thru a dating site (this was pre-smart phone). He lived in another state, but my sense of him was positive (and how refreshing and rare that was for me). After awhile, he revealed that he had a somewhat serious medical issue.
I'm not proud of how I handled that. I just made myself scarce, rather than stating how I felt about it, and hoping he could understand why I didn't choose to explore a relationship with him more deeply. YOU might handle an event like this differently, and that's your prerogative~ but I was damned sure (based on past experiences with a lover who became accident-prone) I never again wanted to be a man's nurse, therapist or mommy.
Some of you gals and guys just LOVE inviting birds with broken wings into your cage. Maybe it gives you a sense of empowerment or PURPOSE to take care of someone's physical or emotional limitations, or perhaps this is tied to self-worth deficits and (deep down) ya think you can’t do better.
All I can tell ya is, I've given decades of focused care, attention and commitment to my clients, which by the way is emotionally and spiritually demanding, and I helped save a lotta lives. Still, I was always utterly CLEAR, I didn't wanna do that shit during my time off.
Try to look at the Big Picture of your life. See what choices you make for yourself that either ENHANCE your contentment, joy and relaxation, or DETRACT from it. And while you're at it, ask yourself what you'd be DOING with all your spare time, if you were free of the demand on your energy, a wounded bird makes on you.
So true and something we all need to be aware of, what is that 'thing' that attracts me to this person? We need to reflect and look inward to get the raw and at times painful self view that, if we are brutally honest, can steer us away from those dangerous relationships.