In Praise of Oft-Forgotten Human CONDUITS
When I was in the beauty biz (hairstyling), a new client would come once or twice, and refer a friend or co-worker. On a number of occasions, the newly referred client stayed, often for decades, but the person who referred ‘em (the conduit) did not.
Do we ever take note of this? Are we ever grateful for the conduits who enhanced and grew our client base, and helped us construct a thriving enterprise~ or do we only give our mental attention to the ones who left, and shame ourselves over that loss?
I’ve been a fatalist for as long as I can remember. It doesn’t mean what most of you might think it does. It means I accept that what’s meant to be, IS. I think the most harmonious and congruently compatible people are often brought to us by others who may not have been a close or solid enough fit for who we are, and how we function in our immediate world.
I’m always telling my clients when they’re up for a new job, position in their company, or a new relationship or business endeavor, if it serves your Higher Self and is meant to be yours, it will be. Perhaps too easily, many lose sight of unseen powers all around us (God, Angels, The Universe, Metaphysical Law, even Murphy’s Law) that powerfully either promote or deter our hoped for outcomes. Still, there are some poor souls whose life experiences have not provided fertile-enough ground within which any seeds of faith, hope and trust could be sown~ much less, have germinated.
Spirituality is an extremely intimate and personal relationship with forces outside ourselves that are mightier, all-seeing, protective, supportive and omnipotent. At times, I envision God in a white lab coat, overseeing the maze I’m navigating. It’s obvious to Him which tunnels offer cheese or nuts at the end of ‘em, and he either gently guides me toward those that yield nourishment OR yanks me away from one, to teach me a valuable life lesson.
I occasionally see my role as a healer similarly~ though I think of myself as only a conduit for my clients’ healing. The rest is up to their willingness to do the required (home)work to get themselves WELL, along with my Higher Power’s intervention. (Please do not assume I am a religious person!)
Someone once said, “God may have a hand in the outcome, but We are responsible for taking the action” (kinda like, “God helps those who help themselves,” I guess) and like numerous wise and rational-sounding gems I’ve integrated over the course of this fertile and lengthy life journey, it stuck with me.
My healing practice has experienced the magic of ‘conduits’ who’ve sent a friend or lover who’s highly motivated and ready to heal, yet the ‘conduit’ ultimately was not. Imagine the spectacular irony of that, if you will.
I never make a fuss over a client leaving, nor my need to cut them loose if they’re not willing to work at recovering from a lifetime of pain. I always feel a little sad, ‘cause I’ve come to really care about them~ but don’t take it personally, nor do I make it solely my fault if that endeavor falls short of my hopes for someone’s recovery.
Might I have made a mistake or two during their time with me? Perhaps, but my heart and soul were utterly committed to helping them grow, heal and evolve, and I devoted a lot of my time, energy and care to that process, much as you would expect from a good parent OR higher being that’s dedicated to encouraging and nourishing a child’s enthusiasm, curiosity, natural talents and special abilities.
God knows, there are precious few parents who could ever be relied on by most of us to provide patient, encouraging, positive mirroring for our innate talents, abilities and intuitive wisdom! How tragic is this?!
99% of my clients have never recognized the precious gifts they have inside themselves (tragically, their glass is always half-empty). They’ve grown up feeling flawed and defective due to a dreadful lack of parental mirroring and affection. Their mom and dad never even noticed their talents~ or they discouraged the flourishing of their child’s natural abilities due to selfish, egocentric, narcissistic preoccupation, that no youngster can ever hope to compete against or surmount!
Incidentally, the Grandiose Parent who repeatedly tells their kid, “you’re terrific~ you can do anything you set your mind accomplish!” implants as much inner-carnage in a child who has zero sense of being able to measure-up to his parent’s effusive but baseless ideation of him, as the one who neglects to provide accurate and specific mirroring for his strengths! (Trust me, I’ve known clients like this, and their adult shame is palpable!)
If you’ve lately found yourself wondering how so many in our society got so fucked up, it’s right here, folks. Child abuse comes in myriad forms, and emotional neglect by parents is the most common of them all. Some people give birth to geniuses who’ll sadly never appreciate or come to own for themselves the incredible richness they carry inside them!
I am merely a conduit for bringing this information (and perhaps healing) to you. Why not be a conduit yourself, and share this post with someone you care about?