I had a client many years ago who could never be happy with what he had, or where he was. He'd look forward to an event, yet once he’d gotten there, he wanted to be someplace else.
This happens to plenty of people. It might occur in midlife, when we've finally gotten all the things we ever dreamed about having, yet there exists within, an undercurrent of dissatisfaction, restlessness and an inescapable question: What’s next?
There is no panacea or utopia, folks. Neither of these things exist. There are sets of compromises we must accept and adapt to, no matter what choices we make for ourselves as we continue to seek that which is impossible to capture, because “perfection” always is.
Whatever we envisioned as our "perfect life" when we're young, is mere fantasy. It has no roots in reality. It's often beyond our frame of reference to even imagine, based on life experiences up to that point (if you’ve never experienced something much better than what you have, can you trust that it’s actually attainable?).
Fundamentally unhappy people always wanna be someplace other than where they are, and who they're with~ but in reality, no matter how often or much you alter your external world, your inner world will feel strangely lacking (past the brief novelty of a new home, car or partner, that is).
Happiness is an INSIDE job that's wholly contingent on healing, growing and constructing a friendly, nourishing relationship bond with Self. THIS is what endures through decades of our life, and enables us to relish episodes of real contentment and joy~ whether we are coupled or not. If you can’t fathom living on a lush, beautiful, deserted island all by yourself, have you experienced anything even close to inner-peace?
We may feel a bit safer, more comfortable, satisfied or free for a short time while we're adding external elements to our existence, but they won't make or KEEP us Happy. Ask anyone who's gone thru an existential crisis and they'll tell ya, it's not about how much you acquire or accomplish~ it's about having figured out how to reach a state of radical self-acceptance, harmony and tranquility, sitting under a tree in their own backyard.
Love this.