I have a confession. I've felt really tired recently. Yes, I've been doing a lot of physically demanding work around my home, giving it a little facelift to celebrate my 9 years of residency here. While it's easy to overlook that and remain confused about my recent lack of energy and impetus, I think this malaise goes deeper.
My dad once said, "stay in your own configuration." In today's terms, this means "stay in your own lane," OR, "clean up the mess in your OWN backyard, before you start working on someone else's" ~which was another pearl of wisdom I got from him during my young adult years.
My father's words have been bouncing back to me lately. I'm utterly FURIOUS about the sate of my country and the evil, lying, personality disordered folks who've managed to stay in power and run it into the ground. I've had vicious fantasies of ...well, I can't utter them on social media, because the FBI would likely break down my door and arrest me merely for entertaining those thoughts.
Still, feeling impotent to DO anything about this sinister problem with the governing of this nation, goes completely against who I am and what I stand for. I'm a "where there's a will, there's a way" kinda dame, who's always believed that every problem has a solution~ which is how I grew so successful professionally.
So I've been sitting with this fatigue issue for some weeks now, and yesterday I decided it was time to heed my dad's words, and try to hyper-focus on finishing at least ONE of the 3 books on which I'm currently doing final editing. I needed a little brain boost to get started (I use generic Ritalin ~but only when I really need it, to quit procrastinating on the important stuff like organizing my taxes).
I worked effectively for a few hours on my BPD Client book, and my hope is that clinicians will purchase it once it's published, and get a leg-up on understanding Borderline Personality Disorder FAR better than most presently do, while learning to work with it more effectively in their practice (if they dare to accept prospective borderline disordered clients).
Borderline Personality Disorder is a hugely underserved segment of the population, due solely to clinician ignorance. Sad, but true. It's not the fault of the therapist, they don't fully understand this disorder (beyond DSM-V criteria) and haven't a clue about how to help these poor folks outgrow their BPD traits, and HEAL. It's the total lack of education and acute insight into even the subtle aspects of the disorder, and how to recognize and treat it.
Anyhow, the long and short of it is, I'm trying to QUIT giving my attention to this political shitstorm, and refocus my attention solely on things I CAN do something about, so I can climb out of my emotional paralysis, and feel (at the very least) more productive.
If you relate to this post, can I get an "Amen?"
Amen! Thank you for your insights. God knows you have saved people, or at least, empowered them to do so. No one in my life ever told me or coached me to look out for myself, and to defend myself. Real grieving is needed to heal for the time and circumstances in which we were forced to abandon our true selves, from infancy till now. I will never give up.
Amen!