Never underestimate the power of the Subconscious. It's the 'show-runner' of your life's story.
Our subconscious sees and knows our true desires. It brings us information in dream form, that reflects how we truly feel about a person or situation.
Oftentimes, this information is cloaked. We might 'see' ourselves having conflict with another in our dream, but upon waking, our conscious mind struggles to make sense of it, because we have never viewed this relationship as adversarial. When this happens, it means there's someone ELSE we may not wish to acknowledge our anger toward.
Our subconscious uses symbolism to bring our awareness to that which we choose to consciously NOT register or acknowledge. It is then our CHOICE to bring that data into the conscious realm, so it can be dealt with (with a little expert help) and resolved.
When we see someone in our dream performing a very different function for us than has been historically established, it can be due to wishing our dynamic with that person was different than it is.
Codependents and Borderlines (two sides of the same core-injury coin) have great difficulty accepting that they might NEED someone's help. Needing help from another triggers core shame within (felt as, "I'm not good enough"), which drives compulsions to 'level the playing field' in relationships, due to one's profound sense of inequity.
Codependents routinely choose impaired partners and friends who NEED them, for they've cast aside their OWN needs and feelings since early childhood, to appease a defective parent. Vicarious satisfaction that's derived thru GIVING what one most needs to RECEIVE (but never got as a child) feels gratifying enough, to keep this giving compulsion in place lifelong.
Super-givers derive a fleeting sense of WORTH from giving to others. At the same time, they are uncomfortable receiving from them, due to a deep sense of unlovability. Codependent Super-givers must always maintain the one-up position in ALL their relationship dynamics, in order to bolster their underdeveloped, fragile sense of Self.
I wrote the book on pathological Codependency, where it stems from and what is needed to dismantle it, several years ago. Few people ever want to completely HEAL the core of this personality disorder, so it remains rampant in societies all over the globe, and drives people into relationships with deeply damaged, BPD partners.
When shame is triggered in us for having felt vulnerable or needful with a friend or a therapist, we might feel a compulsion to alter that dynamic once we rebalance emotionally, in hopes of 'erasing' any dependency we might have once felt on him or her.
This is usually why when someone you know recovers from a traumatic health or financial setback and they're once again feeling more empowered, they'll disappear from your life. This individual feels SHAME for having been seen as less than mighty during a period of struggle~ and not only do THEY despise and wish to forget that time of fragility, they're hoping YOU will, too!
Common sense tells them you won't forget, so they must amputate you out of their newfound reality to help themselves ease the shame they once felt at having been seen as less-than powerful~ OR attempt to manipulate or diminish the crucial supportive role you once played in their life.
None of this is EVER consciously recognized or understood by the person needing to see themselves as "healthy/whole again," but it drives a litany of acting out behaviors in those who haven't grown to accept ALL their facets fully.
If we can't learn to fully accept our light, dark, strong AND fragile aspects, we sure as hell can't make room for others to fully accept and love us for 'em, either~ which deters our sense that it can ever actually happen.