Oh, so you THINK you know about Borderline Disordered Personalities??
Just when you're getting close to a nerve or breakthrough in therapeutic treatment with a Borderline personality, they almost ALWAYS act-out by distancing. This typically takes the form of cancelling appointments, finding fault with their clinician, feeling triggered/angry and "needing a break" from treatment.
Problem is, ya can't pick up where ya left off. The BPD client has erected an impenetrable brick wall, 'the moment' has passed, and whatever trust and momentum if you've worked hard to establish with them, is lost. Some are so incredibly naive, they think once a month sessions will help 'em get well.
Borderlines always TALK about wanting to find happiness, or love or wanting to have a baby (which having tried literally everything ELSE to fill the ghastly hole in their soul, they think a newborn will fill it) ~ but these are merely fantasies. Reality, IF they actually GET what they want, yields merely short-lived relief, due to its novelty. In a week or so when the novelty wears off, they're back at square one.
When therapeutic work gets uncomfortable (and MEANINGFUL, EFFECTIVE inner work is designed to!), it's because we're getting somewhere! The Borderline is actually connecting (at long-last) to FEELINGS.
Borderline clients love to mentally hyper-masturbate. It's a survival reflex they learned from about the age of 2, to distract from and sidestep difficult emotions. Few ever break this bad habit, even under the most skilled and gifted intervention.
Everybody it seems, knows about the "symptoms" of BPD. Hell, you can look this disorder up in a diagnostic manual, and read all about it~ but in truth, you'll only be exposed to the very tip of this iceberg.
Typical traits of BPD that are NOT discussed in the DSM-V are as follows:
**Pathological Codependency issues (or covert narcissism).
**Anxiety issues and/or panic attacks.
**An overwhelming need for constant validation, often flirting with others in your presence.
**Various addictions: Drugs, alcohol, physical workouts, food, gambling, porn, sex, S&M practices, body piercings or tattoos, high-intensity romantic experiences (often described by Borderlines as "love addiction") the need for perpetual motion (if the body can't be active 24/7, the mind works overtime).
**Attraction to emotionally unavailable partners.
**Fear of genuine intimacy, closeness and attachment.
**Boredom with relationships that aren't chaotic, dramatic
**Immediate sex with new romantic interests. Virtually zero getting acquainted time. Compatibility is assessed solely on sexual attraction and chemistry, just as you might expect from a pre-adolescent (these couplings never work out, by the way).
**Borderlines seek professional help ONLY when in crisis, and their world is caving in on them. Growth or emotional development work, is almost never sought or engaged in, and they have a very low threshold for sticking with it.
**Frequent bouts of emptiness, flatness and/or depression.
**Hard on themselves. Incessantly critical, shaming, guilting inner monologues are playing 24/7 in the back of their psyche ("I'm not doing enough, giving enough, succeeding enough, attaining enough," etc.).
**Fanatic religious, Yoga or Buddhist practices. Any rigid discipline that tells them what to think, how to behave and what to believe.
**Borderlines are exceptionally gullible, easily misled, coerced and manipulated by authoritarian sources (like a totalitarian government).
**Can never admit to being wrong (it triggers too much shame in them).
**If a Borderline doesn't have anyone to diminish, pick on, criticize or shame, they turn their rage inward, and mentally eviscerate themselves. Their relationships are mostly just welcome distractions from self-abuse.
I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, all these traits are delved into deeply, in my online BPD articles. Each one takes you on a slightly different journey, bit its aim is to help you start understanding fully, the intricate nature of this utterly FASCINATING and rampant disorder