The medical profession prospers by treating your symptoms~ but who's targeting the CAUSE of your distress?
I don't care about fixing symptoms or recurring issues my clients present with. I never have.
When someone comes to me for help, I know where their difficulties and obstacles started. It's really the same for everyone. Cumulative core trauma during infancy and early childhood drives a litany of spin-off issues.
Core trauma clients struggle with eating disorders, addictions, NPD and BPD traits, poor self-worth, attachment fears, failed relationships, poor self-image, body weight issues, compulsive over-thinking, people-pleasing behaviors (Codependency), Anxiety Disorder, OCD traits, and a plethora of other 'symptoms' that cannot be dismantled, until one does the work it takes (with a highly skilled professional) to heal the Root Cause of these issues.
Helping someone HEAL their core trauma is NOT a cerebral exercise~ which is why 'psychotherapy' has never come close to mitigating this pernicious issue that prevents millions of people from ever attaining AND retaining contentment and joy.
Healing the Heart of a person (which is where core trauma is stored~ NOT in the head) doesn't require 'rocket science.' It's a far more simplistic approach to rebuilding the Self with specific power-tools, while repairing the little boy or girl inside, whose never felt WORTHY of another's adoration!
You heard me~ our obstacles aren't about not getting enough "love," which is an overused word that humans bandy about far too casually... they're about opening-up to being cherished and adored for exactly who we are, how we think, what we feel and believe, and sensing beyond a shadow of a doubt, we ARE good enough and lovable, even when nobody's around to mirror this in us!
The negative inner tape that plays 24/7 since our early childhood abuse occurred, cannot be dismantled thru psychotherapy. You can tell someone all day long, every day of their life, they're wonderful, beautiful, successful, etc., but without having built healthy self-worth, they cannot accept nor integrate YOUR view of them. THIS my friends, is the reason you can never be successful at your attempts to love a Borderline, or have your love reciprocated by one. NOBODY can.
Clients with BPD traits (self-sabotage in professional and personal realms, inability to attach to emotionally appropriate partners, depression, addictive issues, obsessive thinking, critical inner dialogue, etc.) often refuse to use simple tools that are designed to help them dismantle their self-loathing, once and for all.
Some see consistent use of these tools as "too hard" because negative programming since infancy is so deep and entrenched, the re-programming process they need feels too arduous, and they (conveniently) don't trust it enough to get them well, anyway. What a damned shame.
I've realized over the course of my 30+ year practice, that many are so acclimated to and comfortable with their misery and the drain they inevitably keep circling, they're too frightened to even explore, much less embrace real change. This has for me, been a heart-breaking reality: Good people, afraid of authentic, sustainable happiness.
In truth, there's nothing you can do for these folks, IF you're committed to helping them genuinely heal. On these occasions, I have to remind myself of an understanding I adopted many years ago in reference to resistant clients, which is, "Let the dead bury the dead."
One of the hardest things for clinicians to accept, is that they cannot heal Everyone~ but the MAIN reason for this is, not everyone really WANTS to get well. And trust me, you've gotta be willing to want total wellness, more than you've ever wanted anything else~ or you won't be committed to doing the work it takes to getting you there.