The Mythology of Love~

and looking for it in all the wrong places

Well over 1000 males have told me their Borderline "destroyed" their self-esteem. This is not only impossible, it's a grossly invalid perception.

When we possess a sturdy, well-built foundation under our home, no adverse weather conditions can denigrate or threaten this structure's physical integrity. The very same principle holds true for us humans.

I have seen males literally become shadows of their former self, after being involved with a Borderline for less than 6 months. These guys never HAD healthy self-worth to begin with, which made them sitting ducks for seduction by a gal with BPD features. **Deep, never-satisfied cravings since early childhood for acceptance, approval, love and validation propel MILLIONS of people into emotional train wrecks.

Borderlines never go after a pack-leader, unless they can sense insecurity in 'em. Insecure men act-out in ways that give their poor self-worth issues away.

1. They are perpetually self-critical and hard on themselves.

2. They engage in grandiose verbal and physical gestures that lead Borderlines on: Premature gift-giving OR promises of vacations, surprises or 'gifts' to come (so anticipation of a future 'payday' is dangled as incentive to stick around). **Healthy, grown WOMEN recognize this behavior as emotional manipulation, incidentally.

3. Commenting on how much money they make, their sexual prowess, material things they own, educational, athletic or career achievements or revealing size, strength or nature of their body or genital features, how much “younger they look” than their chronological age, etc. **GENUINELY secure, confident people never feel a need to broadcast or talk about these matters.

A man who doesn't feel fulfilled and gratified within his WORK life, is an unhappy man. He will frequently seek distraction from his inner dissatisfaction, emptiness or unhappiness, generally in the form of a romantic interlude. Once the novelty of that new relationship wears off, he's back to being miserable with HIMSELF. **No female can repair this disconcerting, foundational deficit for him. Happiness and contentment will ALWAYS be an Inside Job.

Musicians, actors, film producers, directors and others involved in artistic expression industries ALL lack a sturdy sense of Self during periods of unemployment. They literally have a tough time living with themselves and the doubt that's ever-present within: "Am I really GOOD enough? And if I am, why aren't I getting more gigs?!"

Insecure people are a dime a dozen. They make up most of the world's population, due to having had to endure serious and sometimes, near fatal emotional wounds to their sense of Self from infancy onward (thanks to an anxious, overwhelmed or impaired mother).

Bolstering oneself with daily 'pep-talks' (which often accompanies the features aforementioned in this post) is like putting a Bandaid over a deep, bleeding gash that's never been able to HEAL from the inside-out for many years, and is still very inflamed, sore and oozing puss.

If you fail to do the inner-healing work needed to rebuild your FOUNDATION, your personality traits and life patterns (decisions, choices and behaviors) remain precisely the same. It’s not that you won’t find new faces and bodies to dance with, but your outcomes will be identical to the last relationship you limped into, thinking, “THIS time, it's gonna be different."