The Slap Heard Around the World: Was it a stunt, a hoax or a cuckolded actor's rageful compensation for feeling impotent?
Rage is an intriguing emotion. When suppressed, it sneaks out in all kinds of ways that typically take the form of passive-aggression, misdirected volatility toward innocent bystanders, or the development of cancerous growths in the human body.
Anger and rage are the most enlivening, activating, energizing, passionate emotions that we humans have available to us. They must be vented and expressed in healthy ways, given specific physical outlets if you will, or they fester in our body and catalyze disease (dis-ease).
If you were raised in a household with an emotionally volatile, rageful parent, you learned as a very young child, that anger was a scary, ugly emotion, because unbridled outbursts by Mom or Dad frightened you, and you promised yourself never to grow up being like her or him!
Add to this, while it seemed perfectly fine for your parental unit to express their rage, God help ya if YOU did, because severe punishment in the way of emotional withdrawal or physical beatings surely awaited you. Hence, you’ve harshly judged and suppressed your dark or aggressive emotions lifelong, and while this helped you survive as a young child or teen, suppressing these types of feelings is toxic to you as an adult.
Will Smith initially laughed at Chris Rock’s “GI Jane” joke at the Oscars, but the instant he saw his wife’s, ‘if looks could kill’ facial expression in response to it, he knew there’d be hell to pay back at home, if he didn’t act-out to defend her honor. The question that begs to be asked here is, WHAT HONOR??
I don’t keep up with celebrity news, because they’re all attention whores in my view, and frankly, I couldn’t care less about the relationship dynamics between emotionally impaired actors. I’ve had thousands of clients with personality disorder traits come thru my wellness practice over the past few decades, so following the bizarre publicized behaviors of people in Hollyweird feels more repulsive to me than intriguing. In short, I fail to see it as a source of entertainment.
The apparently well-known fact that Jada has cheated on Will has escaped my attention therefore, until the Oscar’s “slap” made front-page news. I’ve worked closely with many men who’ve been cheated on by their spouses or girlfriends. Their rage is palpable, because nothing feels as emasculating to a male as having his woman fuck another man (or two or three). These men want to beat the shit out of the guy who had sex with their beloved, but their rage is displaced~ it’s really toward the gal who made them feel small, inadequate and unsure of themselves! Problem is, it’s socially unacceptable to strike a female, so where’s all that vitriol and anger gonna go? To the other man, of course!
One (out of 25) of my infamous online articles that addresses Borderline Personality Disorder in the deepest, most insightful detail you’ll ever come across, is titled, “IF LOOKS COULD KILL.” My sources tell me there’ve been significant problems in Will and Jada’s marriage for many years, and their respective dysfunction has spawned major emotional issues among their children. If you wanna know how dysfunctional an adult is, just look at how their kids are acting-out in response to it. There’s no such thing as a Bad Child, only core-traumatized parents who have no concept of how to love one properly and well enough.
I’ve said for eons, that 80% of our world’s population has Borderline Personality Disorder traits. This means we have only a 20% chance of mating or partnering with someone who hasn’t grown up with attachment fears, and is actually capable of returning our love. I know this sounds grim, but post-natal injuries to our sense of worth and Self are responsible for this outcome, and sadly, most people who procreate should never have been allowed to do so!
Will Smith’s slap was a pussy move, in my opinion. What does it say about a male who SLAPS another man, rather than punching him in a fit of anger (publicity stunt or not)?? Does he have latent homosexual tendencies? Has his wife explored the beds of others, hoping to FIND a man who doesn’t?
PS: I was in the beauty business for decades, before I started working (professionally) with the INSIDE of people’s heads. Alopecia is a follicular disease that causes the hair root to go dormant or dead. Alopecia can affect only patches of one’s scalp hair, or all of it. The thing about this disorder is, when someone contracts it, you cannot see any hair roots. Eyebrows are also frequently lost in someone who’s gone bald from Alopecia. Jada’s five o’clock (scalp) shadow strongly suggests this is a fashion choice, all too common (in my view) among women of color these days.
People with BPD traits compulsively need to be viewed as “perfect,” and beyond reproach or ridicule. Many maintain a ‘Victim’ identity, and you’ll never hear them take ownership of their failures or mistakes (even if it’s a regretted, impulsive beauty shop decision). My sense is, Will’s been walking on eggshells during his entire relationship with Pinkett-Smith, and the Academy Awards incident was merely an example of a guy with self-esteem issues trying to redeem himself in his partner’s eyes, so she might (one day) again find him worthy of her affection.
I can tell ya one thing, men don’t marry women with Borderline features, unless they were raised by a mother who had ‘em, too! The man’s mother and wife or partner don’t always precisely match-up in terms of personality traits, but how a boy felt about Himself as a child with an emotionally impaired mom, is how he’ll be made to feel about himself in all future adult relationships with the females he’s attracted to, because that’s his subconscious template for what “true love” is supposed to feel like.
Far too many people confuse painful longing and yearning with “Love” because of unrequited/unreturned adoration they felt for Mother, since before they were born. Real love is never painful. It doesn’t episodically leave you aching for it, and there’s no such thing as “love addiction.” Genuine love feels reciprocal, consistent, nourishing and satisfying. It doesn’t dissipate if you’re temporarily separated from the one with whom you share it. There’s a sense of constancy to real love, that infatuation can’t provide us.
Deep core shame is held in the body of a child turned adult, when affection for his maternal object is not echoed back to him. He goes thru the rest of his life looking for the sense of connection, warmth and oneness he felt in-utero with Mom. The love-bombing a Borderline typically engages in at the start of a new romance, convinces him he’s finally found the much yearned-for solution to a lifetime of hoping he’ll eventually be truly loved.
IF you’re inclined to learn more about BPD, go to the site www.ShariSchreiber.com and click on the “articles” link at either the top or bottom of each page.