The trouble with expectations~ whether positive OR negative, is they ALWAYS come true.
People who really wanna get well, bite the bullet and search for a source that can help 'em achieve it. One thing I've noticed among people who SAY they want wellness, is the propensity to turn it into a gargantuan struggle in their mind's eye... an almost unreachable achievement.
They'll use phrases like, "I know this (process) will be really hard." "I know I've got a long way to go (before I'm healed)." "I know this will take a lot of time." The practical question that begs to be asked here is, on precisely WHAT are they basing their 'expert' opinion~ or is it really just an uninformed assumption??
The truth is, significant, meaningful and effective inner work (or restructuring, for lack of a better term) CAN be difficult at times, because it requires we let go of long-standing belief systems, thought patterns and behaviors which are faulty, and keep us trapped in circling the drain. We might think of these as the primary obstacles that stand between us and true wellness.
Any individual who thinks of entering a process of healing with the ideation it's gonna be nearly impossible and take a very long time, is someone for whom life has ALWAYS been hard. The most challenging part of working therapeutically with such a person, is helping em finally come to the acceptance and realization, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE.
Because LIFE has always been hard, love has been too. The belief in struggle and strife is deeply embedded in their earliest years of programming, and it's extremely common among people with BPD traits.
I had a Buddhist friend for many years. There was tremendous pain in her upbringing. She used to tell me, "I always have to do things the hard way" as if it was a badge of honor she sported proudly. If something came easy to her (whether love, good fortune, anything at all positive) she didn't feel worthy of it, nor did she trust it. She'd literally push away men who were capable of loving her by constantly testing their devotion at every turn, until they had no other choice but to escape her abuse and run!
Deep down she always expected these men to abandon her, so the satisfaction she derived from prophecy fulfillment ("aha! I knew they'd leave me one day!") helped take the sting out of losing em. (You can't imagine how many people engage in this shit.)
Her BPD traits and long-suffering life prevented her from altering her inner narrative, that whatever 'good' was to come her way, had to be hard won~ and if it wasn't, it held no real value.
You've gotta watch out for faulty belief systems. You're not a bad person for having grown up embracing em, but they stop you from being open to altering your dysfunction, because you essentially see Getting Well as an unattainable goal, and this strongly influences every decision and life choice you make. BAM!