They say, "lovers come and go, but friends are forever." (It's a load of crap.)
I let go of a beloved male friend a couple of years ago. Over the decades I'd known him, I made allowanced for the commitments he broke and the times he hurt my feelings, because I knew how much he'd struggled in his life's journey~ mostly, just to get sober and stay that way.
I clearly saw his narcissism and loved him anyway. I listened to his copious complaints about his wife who seemed (surprise, surprise) to have BPD traits. I always tried to support him emotionally and cheer him on, when he got down on himself, because alas, we went back a long way, and I saw all his marvelous facets far more clearly, than he ever did.
One day, he called and regaled me with events that were occurring in his world, and I happily listened. He then said, "what's going on in Your life, Schreiber?" As I began to speak, his agent apparently called him, and he exclaimed he had to take the call (God knows, he's been desperate for work for as long as I've known him) and that was the end of our phone visit.
My former friend never said, "I'll call ya back," and he never did. There I sat, with our conversation having been interrupted, and no followup was forthcoming (I told ya he was narcissistic, didn't I?). For several days, I sat with some hurt feelings. This guy meant a lot to me, and I felt shortchanged by him.
When I expressed he'd hurt my feelings, he got defensive. Absolutely could not understand why or how I could feel that way, and said if the tables were turned, HE wouldn't have gotten upset, and would understand fully, this was a business call.
I wanted to talk it thru and help him understand why this felt bad to me, with the hope we might mend this rupture, and he was adamantly unwilling to do so (I finally had a window into the suffering his wife's been thru with him all these years).
This was the first time I ultimately decided not to leave myself open to more pain with this man whom I'd loved for so long, and admired. Now, I know in AA they teach ya the step about making amends~ but saying you're sorry, isn't the same as caring enough to mend the injuries you've caused someone.
For My money, maybe my dear old friend Madison needs a refresher course in how to rebuild trust in a relationship with someone he's harmed, but supposedly treasures~ or maybe more 12-Step meetings could humble him enough to finally realize, he's not nearly as sober (or well) as he thinks he is.