Time is of the essence~ yet is it ever REALLY "wasted?"

I take life as it comes. if I can glean a bit of pleasure from knowing someone even for a short time, I value it. I take nothing and nobody for granted. So far, it’s a formula that’s worked very well for me.

Some exclaim when a relationship doesn’t work out well for ‘em, “it was a waste of time.” To my mind, NO time spent in the company of another, is a waste, regardless of its outcome~ but it sure can feel that way, if one’s got an agenda.

Sometimes, an agenda can spontaneously erupt and take flight when we connect with another, and it feels like there’s a magical meeting of minds. Other times, we envision what (or who) will make us “happy” and as time progresses, we discover limitations in that person we’re disappointed to uncover, and we feel dismayed or angry about it.

If we hadn’t begun to fantasize about potential possibilities, would the disappointment we experience feel as profoundly upsetting to us? If we’re really honest with ourselves, just what WAS it, we were shooting for~ and how far off the mark were we, about that person?

It’s human nature to envision ‘more’ when we meet someone we’re excited by~ but it doesn’t mean ‘the other’ precisely shares our feelings. It’s pretty marvelous when they do~ but sadly, it’s not a given. In light of this, are we angry at them for failing to meet our hopes, or angry at ourselves for hoping in the first place?

Just as there’s no such thing as “love at first sight,” there’s no such thing as instant gratification when we’re on a quest~ whether it’s to explore a new friendship, find a life partner, or build an empire. Nevertheless, Time is always on our side~ even if it yields disappointing, under-satisfying, or even, painful outcomes and our hopes for ‘more’ are dashed. Still, was there anything positive that came out of that experience for you??

Didja learn anything new from that person? Were ya able to briefly enjoy a little companionship? Did they help you accept, understand or know yourself better? Have you gained a bit more insight~ or caution and discernment that’ll serve you in future endeavors of this type?

Time is needed to discern who someone really is, and discover various facets and dimensions of their personality, and how well they line up with ours (or don‘t). Only a fool takes everyone they meet at face value. That said, nobody is all good, or all bad. There are many shades of grey in the human personality structure, and if ya don’t think so, you’re dangerously naive.

People crave the intense, outta-control feelings associated with “falling in love,” but tend to spend the rest of their days with that person trying to reclaim their autonomy, regain a sense of balance in the relationship dynamic, and restore harmonious interplay they felt at the start of their romance! Does this make sense to you?

I’ve always asserted, it’s far better to grow in love, than to fall in it. Growing in love, means getting to know whether someone can be friendship material FIRST, before we begin fantasizing about gettin’ between the sheets with ‘em, or sailing off into the sunset. Just as it takes time to build and establish a true and trusted friendship, it takes equally as long to determine if someone can be a solid fit for us as a mate.

It has always mystified me, that we hold our friends to much higher standards than we do our lovers! Yet these are the people with whom we’re getting both emotionally AND physically naked! (Is this logical or rational??)

Most people put their best foot forward when meeting someone they think has romantic potential, but God help ya if they’re a Narcissist or Borderline! You’ll be love-bombed by ‘em with kudos and glorifying or idealizing comments they bestow on ya, that can’t help but make you feel like they regard you as having hung the moon and the stars!

An emotionally grounded, healthy, self-actualized person receives these strokes as confirmation of that which they already know about themselves, and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt. But one with unresolved childhood insecurities, will be easily seduced, and flattered out of their panties.

Does all this adoration feel marvelous to us?? Of course it does~ which is why so many unsuspecting souls fall deeply in lust with people who have no real capacity to love ‘em. The seduction phase feels unparallelled, and utterly magnificent!

Impulsivity within the Narcissist and Borderline is the root cause of millions of broken hearts every year, all over the globe. One’s lack of empathy (being able to see life thru Your lens) generally falls short of having their actions line-up with their spoken words. One who is emotionally irresponsible (meaning short on adult development) will say literally anything, to satisfy their immediate agenda. You might be only a one-night stand for ‘em, but they’ll oggle you like they’re a starving man about to savor filet mignon, with all the trimmings!

Talk is cheap. Anyone can tell ya they “love you,” but if they barely know ya, it’s a Big honkin’ Red Flag, and you’d better stay on your toes~ ‘cause you’re headed straight for an emotional train wreck.

Try to live in the moment. Squeeze as much joy as you can savor when it’s right in front of you, and if nothing more comes of it, try to be grateful you got to have your heart beat a bit faster for a brief time~ or be reminded that you’re still appealing to the opposite sex, or that you’ve (even briefly) had an opportunity to share a commonality of interests~ whatever those are.

None of us are guaranteed a long and healthy life. Many plan for a future that never has a chance to materialize. It’s only when you get up in years, you begin to awaken to these things~ but there’s no guarantee of that, either. I’ve known a lot of adolescents who are in their 50’s to 80’s.

Take life on a moment to moment basis. One day, when you’re ready to surrender this physical body, you might have become wise enough to realize that NONE of it was a “Waste of Time,” save for the simple, enjoyable moments you failed to appreciate.