Trans-obsessed kids, and their parental hostages.
I’ve thought a lot about the “I’m in the wrong body” craze that appears to be metastasizing at an alarming rate, but one thing I’ll go to my grave asserting, is children cannot be permitted to make radical, life-altering decisions regarding their bodies~ or anything else, for that matter.
A child who’s profoundly unhappy with their looks or identity, is typically an unhappy child. That son or daughter of yours needs responsible, expert therapeutic assistance to identify the issues at home with which they are struggling. They do not require gender-augmenting hormone treatments or surgeries to fix what’s broken!
Core wounded children are always searching for the “magic bullet” to end their lifelong suffering. They have no idea why they’re depressed or dissatisfied, and they’ll try literally ANYTHING (tattoos, body piercings, wildly colored hair, etc.) in hopes of reducing their feelings of pain and shame. Core shame is defined by one’s sense they’re not good enough or lovable. The sensation of shame typically resides in the body’s solar plexus area. Unconventional, specialized assistance can shrink and eliminate this stored pain, but standard psychological treatment doesn’t touch it.
Core trauma wounds begin during an infant’s first weeks of life, when they are born to a female who isn’t capable of reciprocating their adoration, and bonding with them in nourishing ways (past the novelty-phase of having a new baby). Plenty of females should never have been allowed to conceive and give birth to a baby, because they are severely underdeveloped emotionally, and ill-equipped to love a child.
Women who are success-driven give the lion’s share of their attention to the “job” that pays the most~ so ample, nurturant mothering is in short supply, and her child bears the fallout of being usurped by Mom’s primary focus, the rest of his or her life. I’m not suggesting you can’t work and raise a family simultaneously~ but you will only be able to manage one with any degree of expertise.
Offspring of parents in the psychotherapeutic professions are usually the most screwed up, because this type of career choice places unimaginable demands on psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and anyone else who may be charged with saving a client or patient’s life. People pay a therapist for their time and attention~ their own child, does not. Guess who pulls the short straw?
I recently watched a brilliant series on AppleTV called, “The Crowded Room.” Amanda Seyfried portrays a single-mom psychologist trying to make a name for herself in her field. As the series progresses, we get to see her exceptional compassion, care and stellar intuition. Her clinical skills are unparalleled (due to terrific writing by Akiva Goldsman). Sadly though, she’s often impatient and not very affectionate toward her young son who’s being raised by his grandma, because Mom just isn’t around much.
Goldsman doesn’t smack you in the face with this issue, but if you’re Me, it sends ear-piercing sirens out into the room, and brilliantly confirms my observations about the tragic deficits with which a child born to a highly-cerebral parent, must contend. Clinicians often have Borderline Personality Disorder traits, due to having struggled for adequate affection and attention from their maternal object, throughout infancy and early childhood.
Alas, Borderlines beget Borderlines, but I’ve digressed. The child who threatens suicide if Mom or Dad doesn’t comply with their immediately whim to alter their identity, is emotionally blackmailing the parent. “I’ll KILL myself, if you don’t give me this,” is never spoken by a reasonably rational, healthy kid with even a modicum of self-worth~ and therein lies the problem.
“I’m not good enough or lovable” is the legacy handed down to a child by his or her mother (we all had mothers, but precious few of us got to have a “mommy”). Dad may have been an angry, alcoholic, prick-bastard who caused a lot of chaos and pain at home, but we derive our sense of Self and lovability, from our mothers in the first weeks of our life outside her womb. Anyone (even your ‘therapist’) who tells you differently, is utterly clueless about core trauma issues, or dangerously naive.
Your child wants to experiment with dressing up like the opposite sex they were born with? Let em do it. Let em grow their hair long, or shave it off. Let your son wear makeup to school. But do NOT cave to emotional blackmail~ because in a few more years, when they’ve got a little more development under their belt (with the right kind of help), they’ll be grateful you didn’t buy into their bullshit fantasy, that a painful surgical transformation was gonna make ‘em happy!
I watched as a family member went thru gender reassignment. Far as I can tell, it hasn’t magically made her any happier or more content than a litany of other stuff she tried, before “she” became a “he.” When ya love someone, it’s hard to see them fall down a rabbit hole~ but so much for personal choice.
NOTHING a person does to their exterior can make them “happy.” Happiness is an Inside Job, and it always will be. Sorry if this pokes a hole in your helium-filled balloon, but I’m a no-nonsense, bottom-line kinda dame, and it seems to me, some of you folks could use a wake-up call.