Unlucky in Love~ or just not looking before you leap?
I've been lucky in love. The men I've spent significant time with were the right people for me at the time, and we shared mutual respect, admiration and trust.
Candidly though, these couplings didn't come about thru luck, or chance, or happy accident. In short, I didn't take whatever dropped into my net, because I never felt desperate for love.
While I had a richly vibrant and full sex life for many years, I was very cautious about whom I gave my heart to. I'd take my time and vet these guys I sensed might have emotional and romantic 'potential,' before I'd bed them.
Yes, it was difficult holding off, when the chemical attraction was powerful~ but I've never taken emotional bonds lightly, and I've never said "I love you" to anyone, when I didn't.
Too many females confuse sex with love, due to parental messages they get from the time they're too young to interpret them correctly~ but the truth is, we can seldom find both in the same package.
As a young woman, I never felt certain I'd FIND real love, so I enjoyed as much sexual interplay as I could, to satisfy my then, voracious appetite. I was resolute about NOT wanting a child, and never became pregnant.
I spent a great deal of time healing and rebuilding myself after a somewhat disastrous childhood, and sensed "marriage" could easily deter me from that goal, which I approached with tenacity.
I can happily state, I have no regrets. My beaux were the right men at the right time for me, but I ultimately outgrew them. It turns out, they were not as committed to growth and healing as I, so at some point, we no longer vibrated at similar enough frequencies to keep us together. Neither of us was at fault for the relationship ending.
The romantic idea of finding a "soul mate" always seemed a little silly to me. Humans grow and change decade to decade, so if you meet your "soul mate" at 25, there's a really slim chance you'll still resonate with or WANT 'em at 45 or 50.
I've come to believe that a soul mate is one who enters our life and forces healing, growth and change in us. This may be the most painful relationship experience you've ever had, but what did you learn about yourself thru it? How did it shape and alter you? Did it make you more cautious about jumping impetuously into love, or a bit wiser than you were before you met him or her?
Okay, enough rambling. I'm always trying to broaden the way you THINK about life and love. Chances are, I have more experience with these things than many of you do. Maybe you can get inspired to learn from other people's mistakes (OPM) or THEIR strategies and experiences, and save yourself some heartache and grief~ which is MY Christmas wish for you all.