We are attracted to people who match our OWN level of emotional development.
When I say, birds of a feather flock together and like attracts like, I'm saying that people who seek emotional intensity (either pleasurable or painful) have long been dissociated from their emotions. It takes tremendous stimulation in the way of high-drama, high-conflict relationships, just to help them FEEL.
Both Codependents and Borderlines (both narcissistic, incidentally) are addicted to strife. The Codependent needs it to function, because he or she is a "fixer" of problems. The Borderline needs strife, because it provides a stellar defense against getting too close to another (how can ANYONE have serene, loving, harmonious times together, when bombs are exploding all around them?).
Without Narcissism in the Codependent, he or she would not be attracted to high-conflict relationships, and would surrender the mistaken belief he/she could repair or rescue their partner from themselves.
Codependency is the flip side of the core trauma coin they share with BPD partners. Both the narcissistic Codependent and the the narcissistic Borderline are equally incapable of bonding in a loving, harmonious, ongoing relationship.
The Codependent is DEPENDENT on having an emotionally impaired lover or partner, or there's nothing to 'fix,' and they'd be out of a job or project. At that point, all they could do is examine their OWN deficits and failings~ and that's too uncomfortable to ponder.
For both the Borderline AND Narcissist, being found wrong or mistaken is nearly impossible to accept. Both personalities will vehemently defend against their errors in judgment, mistakes and faulty beliefs, due to the core shame that's triggered when either accepts accountability.
Does this sound anything like the Biden Administration to you?? If it doesn't, you're listening to the wrong news sources.