What we really WANT may be waiting just beneath the surface of our consciousness.

Leading up to recognizing my calling or ‘niche’ if you will, I experienced years of frustration, while wishing to discover it. I think this is more common than we think, for millions of people, globally.

If we had parents who failed to recognize, encourage and nurture our strengths or talents, we grew up without the ability to appreciate, breathe life into or realize them for ourselves!

Often, what we finally become successful at, has been sitting relatively dormant in the background of our life, awaiting our attention for decades. For most of us (especially if we have ADD traits), we’ve always taken our innate talents and abilities for granted, presuming that because they come easy for US, they come easy for EVERYONE. This is an erroneous assumption, which holds us back from actualizing glee and contentment for ourselves. https://sharischreiber.com/inside-attention-deficit-disorder/

I have literally asked thousands of clients to recall what gave them pleasure or comfort when they (for whatever reasons) spent time alone with themselves in their bedroom. Some read, some played with Lego sets (building intricate, monolithic structures), some drew or filled in images in a coloring book, etc.

A few of these kids taught themselves how to play a musical instrument! Without parental mirroring for these strengths, we fail to own and appreciate these facets in ourselves. They merely become activities we turned to when we needed a ‘foxhole’ to hide-out in during our parents’ vitriolic, volatile battles~ or when we were left to our own devices as kids who were consigned to spend far too many hours alone, and essentially had to raise ourselves (this was me).

Since early adulthood, people have always gravitated to me for help. My friends all called me “Dr. Schreiber” for decades, because they came to know they could depend on sound, circumspect guidance or direction from me, if/when they had a need~ whether it was a health concern, or relationship struggle. Imagine that. (I suspect at least a few of you absolutely can, ‘cause you can relate!)

Strangers struck up dialogues with me in grocery store checkout lines, revealing their life story struggles and physical ailments. I remember thinking, I must have some sort of virtual neon sign above my head that says, “Got a problem? Ask for help, here!” I understand this sounds somewhat bizarre and uncanny, but these types of events happened on a frequent basis.

I somehow (by sheer accident) found my way into vocations (bartending and later, hairstyling) earlier in life, that were (unbeknownst to me) considered to be “para-professional” endeavors. Don’t YOU confide in your stylist or barber?? Some of my clients revealed, “I tell you stuff, my therapist doesn’t even hear about!” So, on many different fronts during my fascinating journey, I was the keeper of secrets and the provider of sensitive, grounded, circumspect guidance and care.

My mid-life crisis was delayed for several years as I repeatedly reminded myself how much I loved my creative outlet (as a hairstylist). I had no sense of wanting to run away from this pleasurable activity that had begun as a hobby, when I was 15 and began cutting my own hair to stockpile my meager ‘allowance’ money. Necessity in this case, was the Mother of Invention. Turns out, I had an innate talent for it.

Finally at 39, my need for a more gratifying, self-affirming expression reared its ugly head (pardon the pun) in a way I couldn’t help but be painfully confronted by. This period was agonizing for me. The actual definition of “mid-life crisis” is, having mastered the tasks at a particular level of our development, and not being able to see or imagine a ‘horizon line’ that may promise to bring us a richer, broader sense of joy, contentment and gratification.

At least one-third of my luxurious, lengthy hair fell out of my head from awakening with this confounding discomfiture each morning, and going to bed with it every night. We humans LIKE being able to envision what’s ahead for us (some of us compulsively fast-forward into the future, which frequently results in anxiety episodes and panic attacks). We sure as hell don’t feel okay about having to accommodate the vast “unknown.”

Existential crisis incidentally, can hit at any age, because it’s a natural, normal developmental crossing. It is not confined to our “mid-life” years, I’m sorry to say~ though in reality, it could be the very best thing that ever happens to you, ‘cause it represents a significant chunk of your evolution. Some of us who are committed to growth and expansion, go through this experience more than once~ and it seems to get a bit easier each time we do (“hello darkness, my old friend”).

But I’ve digressed. Tangential thinking is a trait (for better or worse) that ‘comes easy’ for people with ADD features. My hope is merely to present cogent, helpful material to which you can readily relate. https://sharischreiber.com/inside-attention-deficit-disorder/

I returned to academia at 41~ two years after surviving my mid-life conundrum, to see if I could stand being there long enough to legitimize what I’d been doing my entire adult life in various other work (and interpersonal) venues. Hate to say it, but being back in school felt like a giant waste of time, energy and money. It felt like I was already light-years ahead of any “learning” I had to ingest and regurgitate, due to having been tenaciously determined to heal and grow myself, after my emotional breakdown at the tender age of 20.

Many of you have natural, unplumbed/undiscovered gifts, talents, strengths and abilities. These were no-doubt ever recognized by your parental units… much less, nurtured and encouraged. In short, millions of people all over the globe are stuck in 9 to 5 jobs that keep a roof over their head, but fail to feed their Soul and nourish them emotionally, spiritually and (as a direct result) biologically.

The question I’d love for you to ask yourself, is this: Am I sitting on a virtual Goldmine of untapped talent and innate gifts I haven’t yet come to recognize in myself? Is my love of cooking, baking, knitting, quilt-making, sculpting, painting, dancing, fixing small appliances, caring empathically for animals, etc., something I might be able to earn a little ‘side-cash’ with~ at least, at first?? Will I discover I really don’t wanna do it past the ‘hobby’ designation it’s always held~ or will it feel satisfying enough to consider creating an extra little stream of income for myself?

They say, “the mind is a terrible thing to waste” ~but in my view, the more tragic waste is to not fully know WHO we are, with all the marvelous, myriad facets and dimensions we keep taking for granted, but never even think to celebrate!

I sincerely hope this post touches something deep inside you. If it does, and ya feel inspired to spread it around in this venue and/or others in your social media stable, I thank you from the heart of my bottom. :~) ShariSchreiber.com ~it’s ALL about Healing.