WHAT'S IT TAKE, TO REALLY TRUST SOMEONE?
There's no such thing as, instant trust. We need TIME to grow into it.
If you've been reading me for awhile, listening to my videos or just jammin on my FB posts, you've likely developed a level of trust in me, even if we've never spoken. The core of this 'trust' comes from observing consistency in someone.
Trust cannot be established with one who is inconsistent. The sheer act of unpredictability in a personality makes us feel a bit unsafe or guarded with 'em.
Over these past decades I've been in the public eye, you might notice you've gotten very consistent messages. You've come to know me thru my writings, postings and videos. The messages they contain are all congruent, because I don't contradict myself. I don't offer you varying information, concepts or ideas. There's always continuity and cohesiveness in whatever you absorb from me.
Cohesiveness and consistency are what help us build TRUST in another. We begin to rely on the fact they really ARE who they initially SEEM to be. Over and over, our perceptions of them are tested, and if you read something I wrote 20+ years ago, you'll notice I'm saying the same exact thing to you, today. Oh, I might use slightly different words to convey a thought or concept, but there's absolute congruence you experience from one year or decade to the next, and I challenge anyone to refute this.
You will never experience this consistency and congruency over a significant span of time with most people we might think of as "gurus." We've seen how many therapists, coaches and so-called healers can talk the talk, but can't walk it. Many seem flighty, more Ego than Heart centered, and while they mimic or parrot what they've picked up along the way from others’ original writings or presentations, ya just can't wrap your arms around their sincerity or congruency from one day to the next.
Lots of Gurus are charlatans. They're out to seduce you into thinking they're the "Magic Bullet" that's finally gonna resolve your anguish. The problem is, they're often Borderline Personality Disordered individuals, which is WHY you're not quite able to experience tangible, ongoing and consistent truths in their conveyances to you.
Many of these people have poor impulse control, a serious lack of boundaries, and no real sense of empathy. Just yesterday, I was privy to a story about a psychotherapy intern who was grossly inappropriate with her new client. She shared shockingly intimate details with him about herself, which had absolutely no relationship to the concerns he was there to have managed.
This boundary violation within a therapeutic setting, is not an unusual occurrence. Psychotherapists seldom engage their own effective clinical support, due to the prodigious nature of their egos, which need to assume the role of “expert,” just because they’ve gotten a college degree that designates them as such.
Isn’t it a sad state of affairs, when you’ve finally decided to enlist the help of a professional to assist you with finding your way to the other side of confusion or pain, and you leave their office after a session with additional baggage you’ve picked up on your trip? Too many “therapists” like to treat their clients as friends, or use them as ‘sounding boards’ for their own issues. While you may feel flattered your clinician is opening up to you, please know this is completely unprofessional, inappropriate behavior, and you should report that person to their governing board for these infringements.
Besides, the real question that begs to be asked under these circumstances is, who’s paying WHO~ and for exactly what is ONE of you receiving monetary compensation?