WHEN LIFE IMITATES ART:
Show me a Borderline who isn't a stellar actor, and I'll show you a stable, healthy civilian.
When I say Borderlines are great actors, it's because nobody comes across as sincere as they do. Most are pathological liars, and only tell you what they think you wanna hear.
They only RETAIN what they wanna hear from you, so you can have the same exact conversation with 'em 50 different times, and each time feels like the first. There's been NO integration of what you've said if it's not congruent with what they wanna hear from you or believe.
These are magnificently manipulative beings~ in fact, they're masters of manipulation~ and unless you trust your senses implicitly, you'll be taken in by them, and end up with only the stick end of the lollypop. Chew on that, why don’t ya?
The typically manipulative Borderline will SWEAR to you she or he will NEVER take advantage of ya, while asking you to help ‘em pay for car repairs, plastic surgery procedures, dental work, their rent, their vet bills, etc. They are so cunning and CONVINCING, you never think twice about being their financial safety net!
By the way, Borderlines often try to keep their ex’s around as “friends,” but if ya fall for it, you’ll just be their indentured servant, when they need rescuing because their car broke down at 3am in the middle of nowhere. This is never a two way street. It wasn’t a reciprocal relationship while you were with this guy or gal, and this doesn’t magically change, just because you’re not fucking anymore.
The BPD Waif plays to your sympathies. She'll guilt you and make ya feel like a heel, if you don't swoop in and rescuer her from whatever crisis, setback or pressure she might be encountering. YOU end up dealing with the struggle, and he or she moves blithely away from it. Perhaps your long-held Hero Complex needs dismantling!
The fact is, Borderlines of all types are Super-Survivors. They've gotten good at it since infancy, which has made them incredibly resilient. The average person has nowhere NEAR the resiliency a Borderline does! They may threaten suicide in their attempt to emotionally blackmail you to get what they want, but never follow through.
Our narcissism wants to believe that if WE don't help the BPD guy or gal, they'll fail to survive. We sure don't want THAT on our conscience~ but they figured out how to stay afloat long enough to get to YOU, and once they're out of your life, they'll land on their feet again, and become someone else’s problem. LET THEM.
Borderlines are self-destructive. They'll have kids they can't financially or emotionally support, they'll enroll themselves in classes they never complete, they invest in "get rich quick" schemes that always leave 'em penniless, they ask friends or ex lovers for "loans" they never repay, and every time they're close to a real breakthrough therapeutically, professionally or personally they self-sabotage, because STRUGGLE is enlivening to them. Harmony, peace and calm are NOT.
Feelings of ALIVENESS are generated when the Borderline feels danger or risk. This is why they keep putting themselves in harm's way. Our adrenal glands are activated when feelings of fear or anxiety are triggered. When adrenaline is secreted, flooding our blood and brain chemistry, a fight or flight reaction occurs.
Borderlines THRIVE on adrenalin, as they feel empty and dead inside without it. You might say, they're adrenaline-addicted, which is why they crave intensity~ AND why your dance with one can never feel serene, happy or calm for even a short period of time.
No matter how much you "care" about a BPD individual, know that you're being used. No matter how many times they say they “love” you, trust that you're being emotionally manipulated. WHY??
Because as brilliant as 'some' Borderlines are, real attachment scares the shit out of 'em... and one who’s afraid to attach, can never risk letting themselves actually love you.