Why do we Scapegoat GOD to fix our problems for us?

~And hasn't he got BIGGER fish to fry??

My father died years ago at the age of 81, from esophageal cancer that metastasized to his liver, because the medical community failed to diagnose him in time to prevent his demise. You might guess how I feel about doctors, with precious few exceptions.

Daddy was a wise and wonderful man, who’d survived a shit childhood, yet somehow managed to love his two daughters, and (for the most part) accept us for who we were, warts and all.

He’d become a ‘Jew for Jesus’ fairly late in life, and believed that if he “gave it (any and all interpersonal struggles) over to God, all would work out fine.” This turned out to be an invalid assumption.

As smart as my father was, his Piscean nature combined with his unfortunate inability to verbally work thru familial ruptures, left him in great pain, which he had no real way to resolve. Daddy swallowed a lot of his hurt feelings, until he couldn’t swallow and keep food down at all, due to cumulative scar tissue at the base of his esophagus, which no medical docs tested for or could figure out, when he first complained of symptoms. So much incompetence exists within the field of medicine, it’s nothing short of criminal~ and this situation has already reached critical mass.

When we swallow our pain, rage, resentment, anger, emptiness, sorrow or any other emotion our body is needing us to feel in the moment, physical ailments are the inevitable outcome. Many women and men who live with a dissociative disorder like BPD, struggle with serious physical ailments from an unnaturally early age onward: Chronic fatigue, migraine headaches, rheumatoid arthritis, stomach and colon disorders, cancer, etc.

In short, when we refuse to deal with our feelings, our feelings deal with us!

Given my father lacked the verbal skills to resolve emotional speed-bumps with the people in his life who mattered most to him, and he believed what his church at the time taught, he’d scapegoat God to be the fixer of all his awkward, uncomfortable, painful difficulties with others, when they’d abandon their relationship with him, ‘cause he’d ruffled their feathers. I was the only family member who’d call him on his shit, and not take myself away. His respect for me grew exponentially, which he stated far more than once while he was alive (presumably due to my no-nonsense nature, and willingness to stay engaged).

My dad believed in speaking up about what he observed and knew to be true. It just didn’t always land well with others. This apple didn’t fall far from that tree. You always knew where ya stood with Daddy, whether he liked you or not. It’s no surprise I followed in his footsteps~ though I have developed ample verbal skills to mend relationship ruptures or work thru having unwittingly stepped on someone’s toes.

I routinely monitor my narcissism, but now and then in hindsight, it rears its determined little head, at which point, a heartfelt and sincere apology is offered, in hopes I can be forgiven for the oversight. My dad didn’t have this capability, and it cost him his life.

I have come to firmly believe that God may have a hand in the outcome, but WE are responsible for taking the actions needed, to correct the discord we experience with others~ IF they’re capable of meeting us halfway in that endeavor… but somehow, many seem to forget that old, timeworn saying: “God helps those who help themselves.” I for one, have always lived by it.

So, if your faith and relationship with your deity is as strong as mine is, that’s grand… but be careful of placing onto God’s platter, stuff you’re capable of repairing yourself~ even if you need a little human assistance to help ya learn how best to do it.