Why have a MOUTH, if you're only gonna use it to eat?!
The absence of healthy, solid communication skills causes the demise of most relationships bonds, whether professional or interpersonal. We learn (or don't) solid communication skills from our parents. This ability is taught only at home~ not in school.
Confrontation has a negative connotation for most, yet it’s merely stating what we genuinely think or feel. If we fear not being heard or understood, or we're afraid of being judged for speaking our truth, we'll cut and run from conflicts and disagreements, rather than allowing ourselves to MEND relationship ruptures, and grow closer, more intimate bonds with others. Sadly, this happens in the "best" of relationships that start out dreamy and hopeful, yet soon fall apart.
Many people lack even adequate communication skills. Add to this, they struggle with entitlement issues, which literally means they do not feel deserving or worthy of RECEIVING what they want and need. Passive-Aggressive acting-out behaviors and impulses coexist within one who FEARS confrontation.
An individual who's scared to SPEAK their truth typically grew up feeling like their needs and feelings didn't matter to anyone. They may have even feared that if they voiced their concerns, punishment would surely follow.
I've always given my clients 'power tools' ~one of which, is confrontation coaching. If you try to get thru life without success-ensuring tools at your disposal, it's like assuming a home you're building will remain sturdy/strong, without any foundation under it.
People wonder why they can't be successful in life, no matter what they do or how hard they work toward this aim! They wonder why none of their relationships work out well for them, and why disastrous setbacks and poor outcomes occur so frequently.
For many years, I had a friend who was self-destructive. Deep down, he didn't believe he was WORTHY of love and success. He disregarded sound guidance I tried to impart, because his narcissism assumed he knew all the answers to life, and could navigate its course correctly and well. He continually struggles to find work, despite how often he tells himself, he deserves it.
My former friend is a talented actor, yet hasn't gotten any semblance of steady work for decades! He likes to blame his lack of work on his "age," yet I keep seeing very suitable, age-appropriate jobs going to other Hollywood actors who likely have far fewer emotional obstacles in their way of receiving (and succeeding).
Alas, people rarely appreciate or utilize what they get for free.
The Universe will NOT send us good fortune, healthy/suitable clients, success OR nourishing love experiences, until we are fully ready to RECEIVE these things. It clearly sees our emotional roadblocks, and understands that we can't accommodate real joy and contentment as long as we feel unworthy, and are afraid of it (because it feels so darned foreign to our existence)!
This my friends, is why core trauma work and healing the heart and soul that's afraid to DREAM and get what it truly wants, is so vitally important. In short, it moves us BEYOND having to circle the drain indefinitely, and enriches our existence beyond anything we ever thought was possible.
A thousand people per day can tell you how talented and special you are~ but if something deep inside you refutes it, ya can't OWN it. This is your subjective view of yourself, and it colors every single aspect of your existence. It also has you assuming all others view you as negatively as you do yourself, which ignites social anxiety and a litany of other debilitating issues which impede your ability to welcome real happiness.
I speak to Passive, acting-out behaviors in my article, “WHO’S DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK? Deconstructing Passive-Aggression” IF you wanna learn more about this relationship-killing, self-defeating avoidant pattern, and discern whether or not you wanna eliminate it (with a little guidance) from your life.