You KNOW you're dealing with a Borderline, when . . .
Their verbal or written responses to you seem incongruent, or don’t match cohesively with what You have just previously conveyed.
After especially close, warm, intimate episodes, they distance from you or pick a fight.
Trying to get your point across and be understood, feels like you’re speaking to a 2 year-old, or brick wall.
Any and all minor disappointments turn into World War III. A Borderline’s ability to make mountains out of molehills, is a gross understatement. They ALWAYS sweat the small stuff.
Every little challenge or setback a Borderline encounters is catastrophized. The slightest disappointment is reacted to, like their whole world is crumbling.
It’s impossible to relax and enjoy the moment with a Borderline. They mentally fast-forward into the future, which keeps their anxiety and panic triggers alive.
You call and leave a voicemail, they text back (when they get around to it).
Once you’re seduced by a Borderline’s initial love-bombing or “Honeymoon” phase, they begin remarking on little faults or flaws they see in you. This is to be expected. Every borderline disordered individual does this. YOUR job, is to not personalize any of it.
Your relationship runs hot and cold. One minute they adore you, and the next, they can’t stand to have you around. This is literally an emotional roller-coaster ride.
Talk is cheap. A BPD man or woman will SAY they love you and can’t imagine being without you, but they are routinely diminishing, invalidating, critical and emotionally abusive to you.
People tend to stick around for the brief “good times” with a Borderline, thinking they can’t or won’t find anyone better. This is a poor self-worth issue, many have carried since infancy.
If you KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were good enough, desirable and genuinely lovable, there’s no fucking way, you’d settle for someone who even occasionally, causes you to doubt yourself or your true worth.
Borderlines are incapable of loving. Contrary to popular belief, they do NOT fear abandonment. They’ve had to adapt to it lifelong, since infancy.
Borderlines fear attachment (not abandonment). A solid attachment bond with another constitutes a loss of self to a Borderline (what little he or she might have). If they let themselves fully “love” you, it means they emotionally need you, which feels too destabilizing and anxiety provoking to someone with BPD traits.