One of the traits I've perceived in Borderlines, is their tendency to engage in magical thinking ("if I imagine, wish for or do this, then that will happen"). Affirmations are marvelous, but they can't work for us, unless we wholeheartedly believe them. A great book, The Law of Attraction (by Losier) helps us manifest what we want or need. Sometimes, it's a matter of changing a few words pertaining to our wish or dream, that can help the conscious mind readily accept our desire, rather than refute or defend against it out of a less conscious, state of disbelief (“I really want that new Ferrari, but I know I couldn’t afford the upkeep.”)
The literal definition of psychosis is, the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Borderlines routinely live on the edge or ‘borderline’ if you will, of psychosis. Does anyone remember the “Goddess” movement decades ago? These were ordinary females who needed to think of themselves as having extraordinary traits, abilities and powers. Today’s ‘alphabet’ mob reminds me a little of that time, because they desperately need others to embrace their uniqueness. The ‘Goddess’ trend petered out pretty fast, thankfully~ but I viewed it as core-trauma based acting-out at that time, before I’d ever even heard of BPD!
Borderlines may engage in elaborate mystical, ritualistic behaviors to bolster their sense of hopefulness, which assists them in feeling more positive, while temporarily filling an inner void. No doubt, there’s a payoff in this… but how do these individuals balance the demands of real life (or even, notice ‘em) when the lion’s share of their focus is immersed in magical or metaphysical principles? Do they forget to walk the dog, clean house or pay their bills?
Don’t get me wrong. I frequently meander into metaphysical principles and realms, because I believe that ‘energy’ exists beneath the surface of what we can see with our eyes. Religion and even the concept of God, is based on faith, phenomena and what cannot be proven or validated thru our sense of sight. I have, during times of great duress however, received audible replies to my fervent prayers.
We all most likely engage in escapism. Let’s not reject it out of hand, just because some may judge it as “non-productive.” Video streaming a series I’d long-been curious about, helped me survive profound, unimaginable grief when my sweet doggie got sick and died last October. We humans do whatever gives us a modicum of comfort and solace, so we can survive our anguish~ even if it’s turning to booze or drugs.
That said, feeling grounded and centered was something that always came easy to me, before the Biden administration began challenging our common sense, and distorting what emotionally sound people accept as ‘reality.’ I've personally struggled for the past few years to protect and defend my rational, sane perspectives and innate wisdom in the face of wildly aberrant and chaotic goings-on around me, and perhaps you have, too.
Those odd-looking people we see wearing bizarre costumes, running naked in the streets and acting in sexually explicit ways in public, are not normal. Maybe at “Burning Man” this kind of behavior is acceptable, but not amongst civilized society (I’ve always thought of people who love the ‘BM’ experience as latently rebellious teenagers having to navigate life in adult bodies).
The craziness we see on social media and in our streets derives from folks who have no impulse control, no boundaries and no empathy. They are far-end of the spectrum Borderline Personality Disordered individuals who are showing us their true emotional age. They are in fact, three year-olds. No whole, healthy adult behaves in these ways, and if you’re reading this, You’d probably never even dream of it!
During this entire whacky administration, I’ve been hyper-aware of suffering a distinct absence of optimism. This is not at all characteristic of me. My ‘resting face’ always had a little smile on it before this current corruption contagion and insanity was shockingly allowed to sink its sinister, toxic fangs into My America, and poison it in ways that have never before been imagined.
When my clients the past couple of years have spoken of an underlying sense of malaise or mild depression, I sure as hell have been able to relate! When kids are raised with dysfunctional parents who have acute personality disorder traits, they feel a burning need to figure out why so much that goes on in their home environment, doesn't make sense. While children are lacking an emotional development due to their limited life experience, they absolutely do have an innate sense of what feels okay and what doesn’t. When their life lacks harmony and a sense of calm, they are deeply impacted by it. So are we adults!
The “Father of our country” is a demented, sadistic old fool who cares for nothing, other than monetary wealth he won’t live long enough to relish. Oh, he’ll provide for his family members, but the Biden name is now cursed~ and this Karmic Boomerang will have a real heyday, when it comes flying back around and nails those remaining, long after he’s gone.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home causes children to dissociate from emotional pain in their body, that’s spawned by confusion and/or abusive treatment. Children born into this defective sort of ‘nest’ begin asking themselves questions about their inner pain from around the time they’re able to form full sentences. Curious little minds believe that if they can just understand WHY they’re in pain, they might be able to remedy it. This is when mental hyper-analyzation of emotional pain in the body takes hold of a child, and becomes habitual~ because anything that helps humans distract from or ease inner pain, is that which we keep doing. Without expert help to dismantle this reflex, it follows us till the day we die.
Are YOU always in your head?? Compulsive over-thinking is a direct byproduct of depression that’s never been treated or resolved.
Curiosity is essential, if we are to learn anything of value during our lifetime~ particularly when we’re highly motivated to gain intimate understanding and knowledge of our Self. Without the desire to know and connect with ourselves in healthy, productive ways, we become robot-like. No nourishing inner-life can be cultivated or established. We are shallow vessels, or one-dimensional cardboard cutouts of someone we recognize in our bathroom mirror, but are barely acquainted with.
Ironically, during the writing of this article today I had a phone discussion with a colleague/friend who in his own practice is adamantly against using diagnostic terms because he believes that when you use a term to aptly describe one's condition, it's a potentially harmful, definitive labeling of a “disease” (dis-ease) that in no way serves the individual seeking treatment. We’ve agreed to disagree.
I have never withheld diagnostic impressions from my clients. Part of my job is to shed light on the nature of their pain, help them understand its etiology (and curability), and finally eradicate the shame they feel from having struggled to surmount reflexive emotional defenses that drive self-defeating behaviors, which perpetuate their lifelong agony.
BPD is an outgrowth of arrested emotional development that negatively impacts how one processes information or various stimuli, and reacts to it. It is NOT a disease or “mental illness.” Much of what you read on the Web about Borderline Personality Disorder is wildly (sometimes humorously) inaccurate. No wonder, very few laymen or clinicians understand it, and most professionals are afraid to treat it!
During my own work with Borderlines, when they learn about BPD traits and finally understand why their relationships haven't worked out, or why they haven't been successful within either professional or personal domains, there’s typically a ‘lightbulb moment’ for them, accompanied by a flooding sense of relief. They can begin to understand why life’s felt so darned challenging, no matter how many promises they’ve made to themselves to change!
I firmly believe that feelings of confusion and limbo are the most difficult sensations any human ever has to endure. This is why my articles on BPD are so deeply detailed and explanatory, in terms of helping the public fully understand what constitutes a “Borderline,” and how BPD features were cultivated during one’s earliest weeks of life by their maternal object (Mother). It’s not one’s fault he or she has BPD traits. The dye was cast during their infancy experiences, and they were victims of circumstance~ but this emotional ‘disorder’ surely CAN be healed (with the right kind of help).
Our escapist patterns, whether ritualistic or addictive, help us cope with a world that makes no sense to us as adults and robs us of the kind of satisfaction and joy to which we are accustomed. These are allowable coping mechanisms! Our innate survival impulses enable us to keep living inside what often feels like an insane asylum where the patients have mutinied and vanquished any/all rational, sane folks who were previously in charge of running the place!
Trust me, I’ve been addictively streaming entertainment, just to distract from the constant sense of dis-ease I’ve felt since Joe Biden’s erratic and hostile takeover of our government. Out of sheer emotional necessity, I’m forcing myself to walk more, consciously eat more protein, do some gardening, and figure out whatever’s gonna help me stay centered and grounded enough to survive this dreck!
What’s my preliminary diagnosis of Me?? I’d say it’s pretty fucking close to, acute Defiant Disorder.
So eloquently captured with all the right colors and with an array of intellectual brushes with hairs finer than angel pussy.
Another masterpiece for the archives. Defiant Disorder, now that is by far a characteristic appropriately associated to my will to live, commitment to resilience, and valuation of self.
20 years of marriage unknowingly to a clinically diagnosed Cluster B - Covert / Malignant NPD- HPD and much much more. Hidden behind a well constructed mask until a bomb was triggered and destroyed everything. What an excruciatingly painful experience.
Thank you 🙏 for you work and contributions to this subject matter. You are very appreciated. Have a safe and productive day. Peace ✌️