In my case, depression didn’t come until I was in my sixties, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Luckily over the 4-5 years I endured the worst part, it was intermittent - had it been nonstop, I might have jumped in front of a bus or something like that. Being a happy go lucky peace loving fellow my whole life prior, the state of not being able to feel joy or gratitude or much of anything made everything feel like a pointless task. But luckily I endured and after going through heart surgery eight years ago, that sense of self worth I’d been missing returned.
Finding the break in the fog where the sun finally became visible brought a vision and an understanding that is hard to explain. All I can say is the journey through hell was worth it and I’m a much more complete empathetic and grateful soul because of it.
Depression is a normal, natural, human emotion. If we judged it less and accepted it more if/when it episodically occurs, we'd be able to pull out of it considerably faster. A shift in male hormones can bring on various mood and bodily (physical) changes for a man, later in life. There IS such a thing as male menopause (not suggesting this was the case for you).
Certain thought patterns tend to occur as we mature or "age." Those inner narratives can surely pull us down into a deep and lasting depression. It's virtually impossible to stay completely in denial about our mortality as we navigate our 60's to 80's. The human Ego wants to invest itself in the ideation of "living forever." I know MINE did, for a long time. :~}
As we navigate various life transitions, I think internal 'system resets' are inevitable~ and some are more challenging (emotionally, physically and spiritually) than others, due to having to adapt to them and slightly adjust our sense of identity. We remain who we always were (perhaps with a few modifications), but are continuing to develop and change, as well.
Sometimes, these life transitions force us to get re-acquainted with ourselves, which requires periodic introspection and inventory-taking. It ain't easy~ but I think it's essential if we're gonna continue being a nourishing, supportive friend to ourselves~ and not just keep running from our inevitable, evolutionary process.
I also think an inescapable grieving or mourning process is part of this transitional time in our life's journey. How many of us could possibly have known WHO we'd be and what would be important to us in our 60's, when we day-dreamed as kids, about what our life would look and feel like, at THIS juncture?!
I don't need to know if your depression was triggered by an event... in fact, I prefer not to. I just know that if we aren't willing to roll with the punches as we move along within this continuum, our existence can feel pretty shitty, because a war is being waged inside us (wishful thinking vs reality) we have no real shot at winning, until we can get more accepting of and comfortable with the next leg of our soul's journey.
My latest curiosity is, "might I wanna come back, and have another go at it?" My sense is, I've been here MANY times before (how else does one accumulate this much wisdom?!), and Who will I choose to be in my next iteration, if Ido?
“There IS such a thing as male menopause (not suggesting this was the case for you).”
Hummmm!! That’s the first time anyone’s ever proposed that to me but it actually makes a lot of sense. Probably not quite meno-pause although maybe it could happen for someone who transitioned.
“It ain't easy~ but I think it's essential if we're gonna continue being a nourishing, supportive friend to ourselves~ and not just keep running from our inevitable, evolutionary process.”
It sure ain’t, but no one ever said it would be. We all carry lots of fear and we invest enormous energy to avoid facing it. But you can only be killing time for so long until you accept the ultimate fate that time is killing you.
“My latest curiosity is, "might I wanna come back, and have another go at it?" My sense is, I've been here MANY times before (how else does one accumulate this much wisdom?!), and Who will I choose to be in my next iteration, if Ido?”
After all my consideration is spent, I reach the conclusion that I haven’t got a clue where I’ve been or where I’m headed on the other side of that big mysterious wall. But by shaking fear, sometimes it’s kind of exciting to consider what it might or might not be. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but at age 16 I took an elevator ride alone in a NY hotel with Rod Serling who assured that yes there is a fifth dimension. It took me a long time to understand that wasn’t kidding.
Have you ever read The Afterlife of Billy Fingers? If not, I highly recommend it. One of the best life after life stories I’ve ever heard.
I wish you a very good New Year Ms Shari Schreiber. Praying that kindness and sanity take the upper hand in the days to come and we all feel more grateful than we ever have before.
Male menopause is real, hon. It happens that some men (perhaps not many) require testosterone replacement at a certain advanced age. I once knew a man who needed it in his mid-late 40’s. Typical symptoms are as follows: Unexplained weight gain, irritable and/or depressed mood, lack of interest in sex (and other previously enjoyed activities), some men are even known to have hot flashes.
These symptoms are fairly easy to manage and reverse. I have a bit of medical wisdom, because all things physical, psychological and nutritional have always fascinated me. Talk to any doctor, and they’ll confirm that male menopause is a very real condition for some.
I get it - men oh pause! 💁🏼♂️ Kind of like instant humility seeing everything slow down if you’re lucky enough to see it that way. Probably many have a rough go of it. I’m sure you have run into some of them.
I’ve known several people who clinically died, and came back to tell about it. Hence, I do not fear death~ I just wanna get more stuff done, before I take my exit. There are numerous good books available on the topic of “what happens when we physically die?” I’ve read a few.
As a sidebar, “Many Lives, Many Masters” is pretty terrific.
I’m actually flattered you care enough to pay attention… even if you’ve remembered something a bit differently than it mighta been conveyed. Thank you for this, Miriam.
No problemo. You might have read my mom was dx’d with schizophrenia when I was 7, and was in and outta mental institutions. By the grace of God, she was never mean-spirited, guilting, shaming or critical.
She just wasn’t able to be consistently ‘present.’ I grew up feeling somewhat like an invisible child. My sense was that she loved me and gave into my needs and requests as best she could, but wasn’t grounded and whole herself, so parenting resources were limited.
In my case, depression didn’t come until I was in my sixties, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Luckily over the 4-5 years I endured the worst part, it was intermittent - had it been nonstop, I might have jumped in front of a bus or something like that. Being a happy go lucky peace loving fellow my whole life prior, the state of not being able to feel joy or gratitude or much of anything made everything feel like a pointless task. But luckily I endured and after going through heart surgery eight years ago, that sense of self worth I’d been missing returned.
Finding the break in the fog where the sun finally became visible brought a vision and an understanding that is hard to explain. All I can say is the journey through hell was worth it and I’m a much more complete empathetic and grateful soul because of it.
Thank you Shari for the insight and kind words.
Depression is a normal, natural, human emotion. If we judged it less and accepted it more if/when it episodically occurs, we'd be able to pull out of it considerably faster. A shift in male hormones can bring on various mood and bodily (physical) changes for a man, later in life. There IS such a thing as male menopause (not suggesting this was the case for you).
Certain thought patterns tend to occur as we mature or "age." Those inner narratives can surely pull us down into a deep and lasting depression. It's virtually impossible to stay completely in denial about our mortality as we navigate our 60's to 80's. The human Ego wants to invest itself in the ideation of "living forever." I know MINE did, for a long time. :~}
As we navigate various life transitions, I think internal 'system resets' are inevitable~ and some are more challenging (emotionally, physically and spiritually) than others, due to having to adapt to them and slightly adjust our sense of identity. We remain who we always were (perhaps with a few modifications), but are continuing to develop and change, as well.
Sometimes, these life transitions force us to get re-acquainted with ourselves, which requires periodic introspection and inventory-taking. It ain't easy~ but I think it's essential if we're gonna continue being a nourishing, supportive friend to ourselves~ and not just keep running from our inevitable, evolutionary process.
I also think an inescapable grieving or mourning process is part of this transitional time in our life's journey. How many of us could possibly have known WHO we'd be and what would be important to us in our 60's, when we day-dreamed as kids, about what our life would look and feel like, at THIS juncture?!
I don't need to know if your depression was triggered by an event... in fact, I prefer not to. I just know that if we aren't willing to roll with the punches as we move along within this continuum, our existence can feel pretty shitty, because a war is being waged inside us (wishful thinking vs reality) we have no real shot at winning, until we can get more accepting of and comfortable with the next leg of our soul's journey.
My latest curiosity is, "might I wanna come back, and have another go at it?" My sense is, I've been here MANY times before (how else does one accumulate this much wisdom?!), and Who will I choose to be in my next iteration, if Ido?
“There IS such a thing as male menopause (not suggesting this was the case for you).”
Hummmm!! That’s the first time anyone’s ever proposed that to me but it actually makes a lot of sense. Probably not quite meno-pause although maybe it could happen for someone who transitioned.
“It ain't easy~ but I think it's essential if we're gonna continue being a nourishing, supportive friend to ourselves~ and not just keep running from our inevitable, evolutionary process.”
It sure ain’t, but no one ever said it would be. We all carry lots of fear and we invest enormous energy to avoid facing it. But you can only be killing time for so long until you accept the ultimate fate that time is killing you.
“My latest curiosity is, "might I wanna come back, and have another go at it?" My sense is, I've been here MANY times before (how else does one accumulate this much wisdom?!), and Who will I choose to be in my next iteration, if Ido?”
After all my consideration is spent, I reach the conclusion that I haven’t got a clue where I’ve been or where I’m headed on the other side of that big mysterious wall. But by shaking fear, sometimes it’s kind of exciting to consider what it might or might not be. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but at age 16 I took an elevator ride alone in a NY hotel with Rod Serling who assured that yes there is a fifth dimension. It took me a long time to understand that wasn’t kidding.
Have you ever read The Afterlife of Billy Fingers? If not, I highly recommend it. One of the best life after life stories I’ve ever heard.
I wish you a very good New Year Ms Shari Schreiber. Praying that kindness and sanity take the upper hand in the days to come and we all feel more grateful than we ever have before.
🎩
🐸
🙏🏽
Male menopause is real, hon. It happens that some men (perhaps not many) require testosterone replacement at a certain advanced age. I once knew a man who needed it in his mid-late 40’s. Typical symptoms are as follows: Unexplained weight gain, irritable and/or depressed mood, lack of interest in sex (and other previously enjoyed activities), some men are even known to have hot flashes.
These symptoms are fairly easy to manage and reverse. I have a bit of medical wisdom, because all things physical, psychological and nutritional have always fascinated me. Talk to any doctor, and they’ll confirm that male menopause is a very real condition for some.
I get it - men oh pause! 💁🏼♂️ Kind of like instant humility seeing everything slow down if you’re lucky enough to see it that way. Probably many have a rough go of it. I’m sure you have run into some of them.
Are you taking on new clients?
Call me and find out… 323 936-3637 :~)
I’ll be ringing you up very soon.
Happy 2025 🌄
I’d really love that, Jeff. Let’s chat.
https://www.afterlifeofbillyfingers.com/
I’ve known several people who clinically died, and came back to tell about it. Hence, I do not fear death~ I just wanna get more stuff done, before I take my exit. There are numerous good books available on the topic of “what happens when we physically die?” I’ve read a few.
As a sidebar, “Many Lives, Many Masters” is pretty terrific.
Touched my soul, yes, as a tear slides down my cheek. The metaphor of the erosion of the foundation of the house. 🥲💪🙏🏼❤️
Thank you!
Glad you made it. Happy New Year.
Meee tooo! It’s been a phenomenal ride!
I think I remember reading somewhere you had serious issues with your stepmother. And luckily your dad was there to support you somewhat.
No. My stepmom was not a toxic presence.
Oh okay. I'm sorry for the confusion!
I’m actually flattered you care enough to pay attention… even if you’ve remembered something a bit differently than it mighta been conveyed. Thank you for this, Miriam.
No problemo. You might have read my mom was dx’d with schizophrenia when I was 7, and was in and outta mental institutions. By the grace of God, she was never mean-spirited, guilting, shaming or critical.
She just wasn’t able to be consistently ‘present.’ I grew up feeling somewhat like an invisible child. My sense was that she loved me and gave into my needs and requests as best she could, but wasn’t grounded and whole herself, so parenting resources were limited.
I’m grateful every day, she wasn’t a Borderline!
Yes, I do remember you mentioning in some of your writings that your mother had schizophrenia.
My mom is unfortunately personality disordered!
:~(
❤️✨
Thanks!!!