Codependency: The insidious Personality Disorder NOBODY talks about.

I’m sorry to say, America has been a pathologically Codependent nation for as long as I’ve been alive (and I’m no spring chicken!). We were once a powerful nation. We gave and gave and gave to other countries in need of funds, political might, weapons and basic human freedoms, without hesitation.

The nature of Codependency, which I have defined as a Personality Disorder in some of my online writings and first published book, “DO YOU LOVE TO BE NEEDED, OR NEED TO BE LOVED?” deserves a much closer look.

Significant levels of narcissism inherent in this dysfunction, drive one’s compulsion to derive acknowledgement, validation, confirmation and ego gratification, that they are good enough and lovable, while proclaiming to the world, they “need nothing in return.”

The one who NEEDS THE LEAST in any relationship dynamic, is always the one sitting in the Power Seat. Pathological Codependents (People Pleasers, fixers, rescuers and those with Hero complexes) always select and surround themselves with needful others, because when one is a Super-Giver, one can ONLY gravitate to those who are willing to take what the SG wishes to give, in order to solidify his/her self-ideation that they are mightier and stronger than the average bear.

Being needed, also (secretly) assuages one’s fear of abandonment: “If this person needs me, they’ll never leave me” is always at one’s baseline, whether one is sentient enough to acknowledge it, or not. Hence, Narcissists attract needy, impaired Borderlines, and Borderlines attract Narcissists who’ve grown an over-developed false sense of empowerment.

I used to be one who needed to be needed. As a much younger (insecure) woman, I had to find ways to feel stronger (as part of my survival ethic), and empower myself. Being needed by my female friends was just the ticket that gave me this much-needed sense of strength. Until it wasn’t.

I wrote about my journey into pathological Codependency, its etiology dating back to my earliest life experiences as a child, and the excruciating wake-up calls that helped me find the determination I required to never invite non-reciprocal relationships into my existence, ever again. In short (by the grace of God), I healed myself of that dysfunction.

My book teaches readers about Codependency and its inception, as no other body of literature does~ so that one can understand the unhealed core wounds most of us carry, that have provided rich, fertile soil in which the seeds of this disorder can readily germinate and grow.

Personality Disordered people (those who are emotionally underdeveloped) basically speak the same language, and are inextricably drawn to each other because birds of a feather flock together, and like attracts like. They share precisely the same level of development (regardless of intellect), which makes these couplings feel like “a match made in Heaven,” or a perfect fit, if you will. Life with each other feel exquisite, until respective dysfunctions are acted-out within the relationship dynamic, which usually take the form of power struggles.

Both Borderline and Narcissistic Personalities are perfectionistic, and equally hard on themselves. Both have fragile egos. The Borderline compensates for her insecurities and poor Self-worth with elaborate seduction schemes, and notches her belt with sexual conquests in order to ratify her appeal and value to potential suitors.

The Narcissist (in this case, the Codependent who needs to be needed) compensates for his fragility and sense of unworthiness (since childhood) by over giving: In short, he routinely attempts to ‘buy’ respect, admiration and love from others~ never realizing the resentment he engenders in them, with his “generous” gestures.

The overly-giving Narcissist often thinks to himself, “no good deed goes unpunished,” but for the life of him, cannot understand why this is, nor break himself of the habit of over-giving, because his sense of Self is wholly dependent on it. He has never asked himself: Who AM I, if I stop this compulsive behavior? Can I still see myself as a “good person?”

In my view, it’s the unquenchable EGO of America that has brought it to its proverbial knees, to where thru various means, factions, and unelected bodies of bad actors with far less than wholesome intent have shown us in the clearest manner possible, that NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. This is where the USA sits today~ a hogtied, crippled country in every sense of the word, having naively welcomed foreigners to occupy senate and congressional seats, for chrissakes! Oh, how Big Hearted, Accommodating and Broad-minded, we’ve been! (Pats on the back are in order . . . or are they?)

I am not suggesting it’s wrong to give of ourselves, our time, our resources to those less fortunate. I myself, have been the joyful benefactor of generous-hearted people. But ya can’t give a thirsty person a glass of water from an empty well~ no matter HOW well-meaning you are! If it’s hard for you to say “no” when someone asks a favor of you, and ya feel like a deer trapped in the headlights when you want to say it, you might wanna get some qualified, nuts and bolts help to dismantle that issue.

While in our heart of hearts we really DO wanna help others in need, our generous nature has been mutated and transformed by sinister, malevolent, power-hungry opportunistic forces who’ve conspired for many decades, to drag us off our omniscient pedestal (we so relished) and yanked so far down, we can barely remember what it felt like to be the most-powerful nation in the world.

Perhaps in reference to my own wake-up call years back that forced a day of reckoning and altered my long-standing, Codependent leanings, America can finally, under sane and rational leadership rescue our country from total annihilation, and make up its mind to never allow this horseshit to happen again.

Incidentally, do any of you know or understand what actually happens to all organisms (human or otherwise) exposed to nuclear bomb radiation?? Well, ya can thank The Biden/Harris administration and their sadistic handlers for last-minute efforts to kill 80% of us off, just because we said “NO MORE,” and voted the pricks outta office.