Have you ever tried to get your emotional needs met by a three-year old?

You cannot interact with a Borderline in a sane and rational manner. There's no such thing as adult interplay with someone emotionally underdeveloped.

Some of us try and try to get through to a BPD partner, relative or friend about important feelings, viewpoints and relationship conflicts, and we do our level best to be ultra considerate and careful with our words so as not to further inflame them or cause harm~ but to no avail.

No amount of conscientious, adult communication lands in a place of comprehension with a Borderline. We don't call em "cognitively disordered" for nothin'. It seems at times, we're talking to a brick wall~ but what's more accurate, is we are attempting to have our feelings and needs understood and responded to, by a toddler.

Toddlers have not yet developed the capacity for empathy. What this means is, they cannot identify with nor relate to YOUR inner experiences, viewpoints or needs~ and that's never gonna change, unless they engage the (rare) type of therapeutic assistance that helps them emotionally develop into their chronological age.

Adults with BPD features are power-hungry control freaks, and you've got no chance to get your needs met by these people, save for very brief episodes of warmth or affection that lead you to hope your life with them can get better, and it's all gonna work out well.

We're getting to see this issue greatly magnified all over the world today, especially among people in America's administrative branches of government. They lie, manipulate, gaslight, project and EXPECT us to believe that the black we're seeing is actually white, and all is well in our nation~ even tho few can afford gasoline for their car, grocery prices have skyrocketed, and we're heading into a recession, which is likely to become another Depression.

Psychotherapy does NOT remediate this issue in BPD clients who've analyzed and dissociated from their emotions lifelong. Sadly, the people "treating" BPD clients, have grown overly-analytical since early childhood also~ so "exploring and discovering the SOURCE of a client's difficult feelings" is a mental approach that has NO impact whatsoever on emotional growth! Thus, the client comes away from treatment with sound insights about their unremitting inner pain, but remains unwell.

Narcissistic clients (as ALL Borderlines are) have no shot at recovery thru standard or conventional therapy practices. They tell themselves throughout years or decades of clinical intervention that they are making progress~ but the moment they enter into a relationship with someone new, they act-out the same long-standing issues, because they are still acutely underdeveloped.

Gaining insight into our pain and problems is an intriguing process, which is probably why so many folks stay in treatment as long as they do. We might want to understand or know ourselves better, but a psychotherapy approach is a lot like baking a cake. The Borderline is given the essential ingredients he/she needs to create a delicious dessert~ but is never taught how to BAKE it!

The upshot? The carefully and often, laboriously-mixed wet goo sits in a pan on the kitchen counter, with no shot at becoming the yummy, satisfying treat it's intended to be. If we lack opportunities to change, expand and evolve, we stay exactly as we are.

We've all known people who seemed undercooked or half-baked, haven't we? This is due to developmental arrest in the earliest stages of life, due to maternal emotional neglect and/or abuse. Hence, emotions are killed off, sidestepped or muted with the use of various addictive substances or behaviors, just to survive childhood anguish.

To begin healing on a cellular level and growing, we must look for and engage the kind of help that assists us in achieving foundational change, so that we can RISE to our excellence. Only then, can we become a well-baked cake that's scrumptious when eaten alone~ but perhaps a tad sweeter with icing.

Work hard to become the exquisitely baked cake that doesn't NEED any topping (or relationship adornment) to enhance it.