I once wrote an article called, "THE BORDERLINE WAIF~ Rescuing the Woman who DOESN'T want to be saved." Not everyone DOES.
The truth is, you can bend over backwards trying to save someone from their pain or troubles, but the Borderline Waif identifies as a Victim. Without routinely creating incidents of struggle and strife, they feel anxious, which triggers their compulsions to self-sabotage in order to quell their fears of the UNKNOWN (feeling contented and happy).
There ARE ways to dismantle and eliminate this issue, but standard psychotherapy can't touch it. The truth is, a lot of Borderlines suffer from Anxiety Disorder and/or panic attacks. The most common trigger for prompting anxiety among people all over the world, is "waiting for the other shoe to drop" when they start to feel a little "too good" and life is going well for them.
This of course, is a deeply programmed, Pavlovian response from regular setbacks and disappointments during childhood, that stole their glee, just when they began having hope for a brighter, less pain-filled existence.
Let a child like this have a few minutes of calm, serenity or even joy, and they're utterly DEVASTATED each time the rug (inevitably) gets yanked out from under them! Produce enough of these setbacks in a kid's life, and they start distrusting GOOD feelings, which leads them to self-sabotaging behavior, whenever they experience an absence of pain.
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