For the past few decades, people have called me for help, and I direct em to my YouTube videos and articles that may help ‘em sort thru their confusion and despair~ or I lend ‘em some solid direction, if I can sense they’re open to it.
I can relate in some ways. I used to wonder if I had done enough, should I continue and do more. However, after a decade plus of being involved in supporting male survivors of domestic violence for me it was time to move on. Although I felt we had made inroads the time just wasn’t right to continue on that path, at least for me. Too much opposition to our mission, too much money invested in keeping the status quo. Many helpline callers were dealing with partners that appeared to have undiagnosed serious mental health issues. These callers didn’t want to leave, they loved their partner, they just wanted their partner fixed. I loved the work but at times it was like paddling up stream.
Welcome to MY world. :~) There are an extraordinary number of humans who are far more comfortable with misery, than with joy. It’s all they’ve ever known, it’s what’s familiar to ‘em, and they cannot fathom feeling any other way.
It’s a ‘Devil ya know,’ kinda thing. We are attracted to others who precisely MATCH our own level of emotional development. One who is emotionally whole and healthy (not dissociated) will not stay with one who is not. Their vibrational energies are too dissimilar.
I’m absolutely SURE you gave 100% of your care, time and expertise to these men. They weren’t ready to grow, heal or change, and one can’t be ready, till they’re ready. That’s not on You.
I always tell my clients, I can get ya wherever ya wanna go… I just can’t make ya WANT it.
When I quit working full-time, it took me over a year to recharge my batteries. I gradually began again on a semi-retired basis. Been fine ever since… however, I don’t personalize it when someone (man or woman, layman or therapist) decides to leave my care. Maybe after a few more rotations/lifetimes, they’ll be ready to heal, and maybe not.
Meantime, I am only the conduit for that healing, IF they are ready to receive it. You probably know by now, too many folks are really hard on themselves… which leads to self-sabotage and self-defeating choices and behaviors. If one is wired like this, there’s no helping ‘em~ regardless of how skilled you are.
You have made more than a dent in my life, which in turn made a dent in many others I’ve come in contact with including the puppies I’ve been able to help through your guidance and loving support. Like a drop of water in a pond. It ripples out.
I can relate in some ways. I used to wonder if I had done enough, should I continue and do more. However, after a decade plus of being involved in supporting male survivors of domestic violence for me it was time to move on. Although I felt we had made inroads the time just wasn’t right to continue on that path, at least for me. Too much opposition to our mission, too much money invested in keeping the status quo. Many helpline callers were dealing with partners that appeared to have undiagnosed serious mental health issues. These callers didn’t want to leave, they loved their partner, they just wanted their partner fixed. I loved the work but at times it was like paddling up stream.
Welcome to MY world. :~) There are an extraordinary number of humans who are far more comfortable with misery, than with joy. It’s all they’ve ever known, it’s what’s familiar to ‘em, and they cannot fathom feeling any other way.
It’s a ‘Devil ya know,’ kinda thing. We are attracted to others who precisely MATCH our own level of emotional development. One who is emotionally whole and healthy (not dissociated) will not stay with one who is not. Their vibrational energies are too dissimilar.
I’m absolutely SURE you gave 100% of your care, time and expertise to these men. They weren’t ready to grow, heal or change, and one can’t be ready, till they’re ready. That’s not on You.
I always tell my clients, I can get ya wherever ya wanna go… I just can’t make ya WANT it.
When I quit working full-time, it took me over a year to recharge my batteries. I gradually began again on a semi-retired basis. Been fine ever since… however, I don’t personalize it when someone (man or woman, layman or therapist) decides to leave my care. Maybe after a few more rotations/lifetimes, they’ll be ready to heal, and maybe not.
Meantime, I am only the conduit for that healing, IF they are ready to receive it. You probably know by now, too many folks are really hard on themselves… which leads to self-sabotage and self-defeating choices and behaviors. If one is wired like this, there’s no helping ‘em~ regardless of how skilled you are.
You have made more than a dent in my life, which in turn made a dent in many others I’ve come in contact with including the puppies I’ve been able to help through your guidance and loving support. Like a drop of water in a pond. It ripples out.
Bless your sweet heart, and thank you, Dawn!