Too many children are raised in homes where their parents commanded them to achieve and accomplish. This parenting style is very common in Asian and middle eastern countries, but it also happens here, in America. When a child is only valued for bringing home high grades in school or having attained athletic prowess, he grows up with poor self-esteem. His entire sense of worth is predicated on his parents’ approval for acting in certain ways and ‘
It truly is the war of the periphery against the centre. I have worked with supremely capable gay people and some who are clearly disturbed and probably borderline. In stead of just getting rid of them, companies feel compelled to "make accommodations" that wouldn't be offered to more mainstream people. Although this one company eventually gave him an office of his own so he had less opportunity to berate people. Eventually he left for a completely "off the wall" career change.
Sorry... just seeing this tonight. Seems our current world is overrun with enablers. Somebody has a weakness or deficit, and rather than find a slot that fits with their skill set (or lack of same) we wanna elevate and make accommodations for 'em. Everyone has the right to exist and live the best life available to them... but 'survival of the fittest' died along with meritocracy. These factors have not enhanced nor strengthened societies all over the globe, they have crippled them.
Sep 6, 2022·edited Sep 6, 2022Liked by Shari Schreiber MA
As someone of South-Asian heritage, thank you for pointing out the cultural aspects that fuel this type of dysfunction in children! The element of cultural upbringing is not mentioned enough, and too often conveniently omitted (especially with poc, I suspect it has to do with political correctedness).
Due to the unhealthy importance education and academia is given to in these cultures, there is definitely a weird/pervasive enmeshment that seems to go on - not just with parents living through their children, if that's not bad enough; but also the enmeshment of children with teachers. Whenever I'd visit home (India) for college break in the States, I'd see peers my age frantically wanting to visit their middle/high schools to meet their teachers whom they'd make it a point to be in touch with until the end of time - very similar to that Julia Roberts-movie, Mona Lisa's Smile. Unfortunately, my father also shared the same manic dedication towards his almamater and has never missed a college reunion in all his 73 years. For some, it seems to be a virtue to not move on in life (seen as "forgetting one's roots", I suppose).
Unsurprisingly, such kids go on to "graduate" in having the same level of manic dedication for their employers later in life. It baffles me how they set themselves up to be exploited, and yet it's seen as noble. I find the ways in which people from my community represent themselves just embarrassing and is always a trope in modern tv shows and movies. In my own (already minority) community, I am even more of a minority in having these opinions (I'm seen as racist or a reverse-racist towards my own, lol).
Thank you again for saying what needs to be said, that doesn't seem to be said often enough. I appreciate you being a champion of the truth (and by extension, of children), no matter how hard or difficult the truth is :" )
It truly is the war of the periphery against the centre. I have worked with supremely capable gay people and some who are clearly disturbed and probably borderline. In stead of just getting rid of them, companies feel compelled to "make accommodations" that wouldn't be offered to more mainstream people. Although this one company eventually gave him an office of his own so he had less opportunity to berate people. Eventually he left for a completely "off the wall" career change.
Sorry... just seeing this tonight. Seems our current world is overrun with enablers. Somebody has a weakness or deficit, and rather than find a slot that fits with their skill set (or lack of same) we wanna elevate and make accommodations for 'em. Everyone has the right to exist and live the best life available to them... but 'survival of the fittest' died along with meritocracy. These factors have not enhanced nor strengthened societies all over the globe, they have crippled them.
As someone of South-Asian heritage, thank you for pointing out the cultural aspects that fuel this type of dysfunction in children! The element of cultural upbringing is not mentioned enough, and too often conveniently omitted (especially with poc, I suspect it has to do with political correctedness).
Due to the unhealthy importance education and academia is given to in these cultures, there is definitely a weird/pervasive enmeshment that seems to go on - not just with parents living through their children, if that's not bad enough; but also the enmeshment of children with teachers. Whenever I'd visit home (India) for college break in the States, I'd see peers my age frantically wanting to visit their middle/high schools to meet their teachers whom they'd make it a point to be in touch with until the end of time - very similar to that Julia Roberts-movie, Mona Lisa's Smile. Unfortunately, my father also shared the same manic dedication towards his almamater and has never missed a college reunion in all his 73 years. For some, it seems to be a virtue to not move on in life (seen as "forgetting one's roots", I suppose).
Unsurprisingly, such kids go on to "graduate" in having the same level of manic dedication for their employers later in life. It baffles me how they set themselves up to be exploited, and yet it's seen as noble. I find the ways in which people from my community represent themselves just embarrassing and is always a trope in modern tv shows and movies. In my own (already minority) community, I am even more of a minority in having these opinions (I'm seen as racist or a reverse-racist towards my own, lol).
Thank you again for saying what needs to be said, that doesn't seem to be said often enough. I appreciate you being a champion of the truth (and by extension, of children), no matter how hard or difficult the truth is :" )
Just seeing this tonight, Priya. Don't quite know how I missed it (sorry!). I always love reading your responses, you wonderful, intelligent woman!