Ever notice how eager people are to "fall in love"? The very act of FALLING is an out-of-control sensation, so doesn't it make sense to question why so many long for and CRAVE this feeling state? If we take time to think about this issue logically, don't we usually spend the rest of our time in an initially exhilarating relationship, trying to REGAIN our grounding and feel in-control of our emotional experiences with another?
Again, right on point. Having married a BPD person, I was on that roller coaster for nearly 16 years and could never figure out which way was up. In the end I found myself emotionally, mentally and spiritually painted into a corner that I could not escape. I lived in a world with two truths, hers which was always 'right' and mine, which was always wrong, belittled and made meaningless. It took a hard crash to finally see the reality behind it all. I read Sheri's articles over a period of years trying to rationalize, 'well she doesn't fit them all' and used that angle to continue getting my 'fixes' of emotional and psychological extremes, living only for that next fix at the expense of my children and myself. Now, I am working my way back and finding one red flag after another that I had simply disregarded just so I could keep on the drugs of that roller coaster. Real life is a come down, but it's so much more healthy and when that drug wears off you see the world in a whole new light. And that flat spot on your forehead stops aching. ;)
Again, right on point. Having married a BPD person, I was on that roller coaster for nearly 16 years and could never figure out which way was up. In the end I found myself emotionally, mentally and spiritually painted into a corner that I could not escape. I lived in a world with two truths, hers which was always 'right' and mine, which was always wrong, belittled and made meaningless. It took a hard crash to finally see the reality behind it all. I read Sheri's articles over a period of years trying to rationalize, 'well she doesn't fit them all' and used that angle to continue getting my 'fixes' of emotional and psychological extremes, living only for that next fix at the expense of my children and myself. Now, I am working my way back and finding one red flag after another that I had simply disregarded just so I could keep on the drugs of that roller coaster. Real life is a come down, but it's so much more healthy and when that drug wears off you see the world in a whole new light. And that flat spot on your forehead stops aching. ;)