My dear father once said to me as a teen: “Sometimes ya gotta hit a man between the eyes with a 2 × 4, JUST to get his attention.” He was a carpenter, so perhaps the metaphor was a snug fit.
Your tough love definitely helped me heal! I am so thankful to have crossed your path (online) years ago. I am still very grateful to this day for your insights :-). Thank you Shari! ♥
Thank you, Kyle! Your commentary is valuable and so very appreciated! And you’re right… unless we’re pathologically committed to being Enablers, and are emotionally dependent on being NEEDED by others (and many are, to fortify their sense of worth), we’re gonna level with the people we actually CARE about~ whether that occurs within our professional or interpersonal domains. Ya gotta be willing to risk a friendship, to hold a mirror up to someone. If they reject ya for it, maybe they’re making room for you to find someone healthier.
I encourage you to try and drop your Victim identity, dear. It’s a BPD trait that doesn’t serve you, and only keeps you trapped in self-pity and loathing.
Formal treatment is called dialectic behaviour therapy. How do you seperate someone with bpd from someone with boundary educational needs after an physically abusive relationship who has a stable one for 15 years and is snared by a friend with narcissistic trats, desp. Wanting friends, because your boundaries were stripped away and when you resocialised your attachment type was brutally used and you end up hurt again? You need a trauma therapist, part of the treatment can be overlapping.
There are4 types of narcissist and 4 types of persons with bpd, if your countries research base is prisoner's many using bpd as an excuse then your going to form opinions from the violent types, such as saying people with bpd have no empathy. Because one subtype that doesn't is the focus. The uk and eu do not use the dsm method of diagnosis.
I learnt the boundary issue cascade from another trauma specialist, but I need therapy to teach narcissists destroy you. GP Wednesday.
Love the 2X4 between the eyes to just get their attention. I’ve heard that maybe 10,000 times. My Dad was a dictionary of sayings Adages, and I find myself reviewing them. As a child i would attempt to
Decipher what “don’t cut off your nose despite your face.” Meant. I get the 2x4.
Brutal honesty saves time. Tough love up front is gentler in long run.
I used to before the pandemic “think” Truth was the ultimate prize and man I sought it out. Because the saying goes the Truth shall set you Free, well sister I
Want to be more free. So seeking Truth was for me
Good to understand the world but more importantly me and my role in this theater. Then I thought hey I’ll share this truth: ie do not take vaxxines,… data data stories etc. crickets family friends.
Felt like I was herding cats.
Thought people would say we want more truth or how did you come up with these ideas.
Have not given up on the Truth. Figure for now let everyone find discover for themselves.
Is it just me or my delivery or is it people are locked into their comfort zone, can’t be bothered with potentially life death decisions?
In my head I’m writing out a letter to all family friends, since I’ve alienated the flock already I guess
I’ve got nothing to lose.
Is Truth telling a lonely place, or is it being true to myself and it’s ok if no one dares goes into the dragons cave with me to slay dragons.
Yesterday I discovered if I state my case firmly with
Only an intention of sharing information for the betterment of everyone after getting into a shouting match, apologizing then articulate my concerns.
End of day other person responded positively end of day I felt proud, I stood my ground was true to self
And finally it’s great to be me. Even if I’m not Jack
La Lane hard body I’ve got his drive.
PS
Truth telling is liberating.
And basically I’ve spent lots of time walking on eggshells not to offend anyone then end of day I’m offended at myself.
I’m all about Jesus. I’m also now ok to be selfish for me in a way I care about my own opinions and healthy boundaries. And drop some Truth Bombs
Let them decide.
You said something that hit me like a 2X4
“When I lose my respect for someone, I can’t love them” or to that effect. I feel that same exact way.
Covid has really put this to the field of application.
You coulda called me ANYTIME. I mighta made your journey considerably swifter and easier. Bottom line, it sounds like you got where ya wanted and needed to go. Bravo!
Your tough love definitely helped me heal! I am so thankful to have crossed your path (online) years ago. I am still very grateful to this day for your insights :-). Thank you Shari! ♥
You’re so very welcome, Miriam!!!
That’s definitely a 2x4 post!
Brutal honesty is brutally considerate and given by those who brutally care about you.
May not feel good but if you can separate feelings from facts then the opportunities arise.
Coddling only perpetuates problems and is given by those who care more about maintaining “positive” feelings rather than improving problematic issues.
Good stuff.
Thank you, Kyle! Your commentary is valuable and so very appreciated! And you’re right… unless we’re pathologically committed to being Enablers, and are emotionally dependent on being NEEDED by others (and many are, to fortify their sense of worth), we’re gonna level with the people we actually CARE about~ whether that occurs within our professional or interpersonal domains. Ya gotta be willing to risk a friendship, to hold a mirror up to someone. If they reject ya for it, maybe they’re making room for you to find someone healthier.
Love it
Thanks, Kyle!
Would be easier to do if I could get a vehicle here until then I'm very much stuck and anyone I trust is not walking distance 😞
I encourage you to try and drop your Victim identity, dear. It’s a BPD trait that doesn’t serve you, and only keeps you trapped in self-pity and loathing.
Elaborate on this please
?? Please inform me of said victim.
Formal treatment is called dialectic behaviour therapy. How do you seperate someone with bpd from someone with boundary educational needs after an physically abusive relationship who has a stable one for 15 years and is snared by a friend with narcissistic trats, desp. Wanting friends, because your boundaries were stripped away and when you resocialised your attachment type was brutally used and you end up hurt again? You need a trauma therapist, part of the treatment can be overlapping.
There are4 types of narcissist and 4 types of persons with bpd, if your countries research base is prisoner's many using bpd as an excuse then your going to form opinions from the violent types, such as saying people with bpd have no empathy. Because one subtype that doesn't is the focus. The uk and eu do not use the dsm method of diagnosis.
I learnt the boundary issue cascade from another trauma specialist, but I need therapy to teach narcissists destroy you. GP Wednesday.
2
Love the 2X4 between the eyes to just get their attention. I’ve heard that maybe 10,000 times. My Dad was a dictionary of sayings Adages, and I find myself reviewing them. As a child i would attempt to
Decipher what “don’t cut off your nose despite your face.” Meant. I get the 2x4.
Brutal honesty saves time. Tough love up front is gentler in long run.
I used to before the pandemic “think” Truth was the ultimate prize and man I sought it out. Because the saying goes the Truth shall set you Free, well sister I
Want to be more free. So seeking Truth was for me
Good to understand the world but more importantly me and my role in this theater. Then I thought hey I’ll share this truth: ie do not take vaxxines,… data data stories etc. crickets family friends.
Felt like I was herding cats.
Thought people would say we want more truth or how did you come up with these ideas.
Have not given up on the Truth. Figure for now let everyone find discover for themselves.
Is it just me or my delivery or is it people are locked into their comfort zone, can’t be bothered with potentially life death decisions?
In my head I’m writing out a letter to all family friends, since I’ve alienated the flock already I guess
I’ve got nothing to lose.
Is Truth telling a lonely place, or is it being true to myself and it’s ok if no one dares goes into the dragons cave with me to slay dragons.
Yesterday I discovered if I state my case firmly with
Only an intention of sharing information for the betterment of everyone after getting into a shouting match, apologizing then articulate my concerns.
End of day other person responded positively end of day I felt proud, I stood my ground was true to self
And finally it’s great to be me. Even if I’m not Jack
La Lane hard body I’ve got his drive.
PS
Truth telling is liberating.
And basically I’ve spent lots of time walking on eggshells not to offend anyone then end of day I’m offended at myself.
I’m all about Jesus. I’m also now ok to be selfish for me in a way I care about my own opinions and healthy boundaries. And drop some Truth Bombs
Let them decide.
You said something that hit me like a 2X4
“When I lose my respect for someone, I can’t love them” or to that effect. I feel that same exact way.
Covid has really put this to the field of application.
You coulda called me ANYTIME. I mighta made your journey considerably swifter and easier. Bottom line, it sounds like you got where ya wanted and needed to go. Bravo!