I loved reading this article, Shari - thank you for giving suicide victims a voice. In all my life, I've known of two people who took their own lives: a neighbor who lived a few houses down growing up, and a friend's sister (which eerily enough, the day of your posting this article is also her birthday). But there is also a third - the father of a friend I made later in life. But I was shocked to know that his father's burial place (at the church in his village in Mexico) was not allowed to be shared with others who had a more "honorable" death. Hearing that truly aggravated and broke me.
I've been thinking a lot about this recently (not suicide), but just what drives people to take such extreme reactions. I am beginning to realize that we are all beings of truth. In some way we are hardwired to know our own inner selves/authentic truth of who we are, and if that justice is not done to us (due to bad mirroring or so), it turns us and gets us acting out. Eventually, it has some of us take these kinds of actions (or I'd say these kind of actions take us).
I'm also so glad you mention the hyper-sensitivity to stimulation - I feel like this is exactly where I am right now in my healing. I've grown to prefer my own company where I have some say in the quality of my thoughts and experience. At first, I thought it was just a "quarantine hangover" from the 3-year long quarantine we were under due to Covid, but now that I've been returning to work, I find myself avoiding coworkers and office parties. I take the quiet hallway to my desk at work etc, I take the stairwell to the parking lot instead of the elevator. Would you know what this is due to?
I'm sure to others I'm now seen as a recluse. Part of me wonders how long this phase will go on for as I also don't want to lose touch with the outside world, but I am also relieved to know that this is part of the healing process. It feels quite validating that this overcorrection isn't uncommon and maybe is in direct proportion to how much I had derailed from my own inner values.
Thanks again for this piece. I've added it to my list of writings from yours : )
Priya...! So happy you resonated with this piece! In reply to your concerns about preferring to separate yourself from the 'madding crowd,' just don't judge it. It's happening for good and healthy reasons, and this current persuasion of yours will NOT be permanent.
The picture of a beehive came to mind as I was reading your comments. Most of our world is comprised of worker bees (no matter what their station in life, or how successful they are). They have specific functions and purposes. They busy themselves with all sorts of tasks, to ensure the survival of the hive and their queen. They function mostly on auto-pilot, as they go about their Bee Business (and You don't even show up on their radar!).
A worker bee cannot become a Queen bee, and vice-versa. A tender of sheep is the Shepherd who cannot be one of the herd, nor can one of the sheep become a Shepherd. Hundreds of clients have bemoaned the fact they feel out of place and don't fit in with their peers. I help them pivot how they view themselves, so they can start being comfortable with who they ARE, rather than constantly seeking validation from others, that they're acceptable. Mostly, they are vibrating at a HIGHER frequency, than those around 'em who sense this, and feel out of their depth.
It used to concern me a bit when nobody I met and engaged with at a social function, pursued getting better acquainted with me, despite my sincere invitation to do so. These were cordial, friendly exchanges, often initiated by me... yet they led nowhere. It's natural to think, "what's wrong with me?" when this happens. It didn't take me long to figure out it was because of what's RIGHT with me, that (unwittingly) kept others at bay.
People have always regarded me as somewhat larger than life. They're scared to call me when seeking help for the first time, due to feeling intimidated (or less-than) by my online presence. This is THEIR shit, not mine. IF/WHEN they work up the courage to phone me, they're shocked by how easy-going and accessible I am (but always honest and direct about what I sense in them).
My point is, 'worker bees' will never vibrate at your frequency. This is true for those of us who've been hard at work growing and healing ourselves, because in THIS lifetime, our mantra has been, THE BUCK STOPS HERE (meaning the dysfunctional rubble we've had to dig our way out of, to become emotionally responsible, rational, integrous human beings).
When we are surrounded by worker bees (or sheep) we sense a lack of harmony and compatibility. We are not with kindred souls, and we FEEL this disparity between them and us in our body. When we're new at this, we feel a little raw~ so it's common sense to avoid un-harmonious exposure as much as possible!
Keep doing what you're doing. Stay in the moment. Stop worrying about tomorrow, and go with the flow of what FEELS best for you NOW. You're in a transitional phase in your life-cycle. A surprising number of people are going thru major metamorphosis right now (caterpillar to butterfly kind of transformation). It's a growth process, and it's all good.
Thank you for your insight to this topic. I would be interested in your voice as to why women also choose suicide. When at my personal darkness nadir I imagined it would be to an end to the endless inner repetitive voices. Seeking a cool place of quiet and comfort - no more "a life of quiet desperation." And people telling you to snap out of it. Thank you for insight. We've lost too many sweet souls. And as you mentioned years ago - the wrong people are in therapy.
Abysmal depression is not a gender-specific issue. Plenty of females kill themselves. Some do it by remaining in a toxic relationship. Others take a handful of pills. Still others drink themselves to death, OD on drugs OR drive their car off a cliff. Men seem to prefer more violent exits over those chosen by women.
I loved reading this article, Shari - thank you for giving suicide victims a voice. In all my life, I've known of two people who took their own lives: a neighbor who lived a few houses down growing up, and a friend's sister (which eerily enough, the day of your posting this article is also her birthday). But there is also a third - the father of a friend I made later in life. But I was shocked to know that his father's burial place (at the church in his village in Mexico) was not allowed to be shared with others who had a more "honorable" death. Hearing that truly aggravated and broke me.
I've been thinking a lot about this recently (not suicide), but just what drives people to take such extreme reactions. I am beginning to realize that we are all beings of truth. In some way we are hardwired to know our own inner selves/authentic truth of who we are, and if that justice is not done to us (due to bad mirroring or so), it turns us and gets us acting out. Eventually, it has some of us take these kinds of actions (or I'd say these kind of actions take us).
I'm also so glad you mention the hyper-sensitivity to stimulation - I feel like this is exactly where I am right now in my healing. I've grown to prefer my own company where I have some say in the quality of my thoughts and experience. At first, I thought it was just a "quarantine hangover" from the 3-year long quarantine we were under due to Covid, but now that I've been returning to work, I find myself avoiding coworkers and office parties. I take the quiet hallway to my desk at work etc, I take the stairwell to the parking lot instead of the elevator. Would you know what this is due to?
I'm sure to others I'm now seen as a recluse. Part of me wonders how long this phase will go on for as I also don't want to lose touch with the outside world, but I am also relieved to know that this is part of the healing process. It feels quite validating that this overcorrection isn't uncommon and maybe is in direct proportion to how much I had derailed from my own inner values.
Thanks again for this piece. I've added it to my list of writings from yours : )
Priya...! So happy you resonated with this piece! In reply to your concerns about preferring to separate yourself from the 'madding crowd,' just don't judge it. It's happening for good and healthy reasons, and this current persuasion of yours will NOT be permanent.
The picture of a beehive came to mind as I was reading your comments. Most of our world is comprised of worker bees (no matter what their station in life, or how successful they are). They have specific functions and purposes. They busy themselves with all sorts of tasks, to ensure the survival of the hive and their queen. They function mostly on auto-pilot, as they go about their Bee Business (and You don't even show up on their radar!).
A worker bee cannot become a Queen bee, and vice-versa. A tender of sheep is the Shepherd who cannot be one of the herd, nor can one of the sheep become a Shepherd. Hundreds of clients have bemoaned the fact they feel out of place and don't fit in with their peers. I help them pivot how they view themselves, so they can start being comfortable with who they ARE, rather than constantly seeking validation from others, that they're acceptable. Mostly, they are vibrating at a HIGHER frequency, than those around 'em who sense this, and feel out of their depth.
It used to concern me a bit when nobody I met and engaged with at a social function, pursued getting better acquainted with me, despite my sincere invitation to do so. These were cordial, friendly exchanges, often initiated by me... yet they led nowhere. It's natural to think, "what's wrong with me?" when this happens. It didn't take me long to figure out it was because of what's RIGHT with me, that (unwittingly) kept others at bay.
People have always regarded me as somewhat larger than life. They're scared to call me when seeking help for the first time, due to feeling intimidated (or less-than) by my online presence. This is THEIR shit, not mine. IF/WHEN they work up the courage to phone me, they're shocked by how easy-going and accessible I am (but always honest and direct about what I sense in them).
My point is, 'worker bees' will never vibrate at your frequency. This is true for those of us who've been hard at work growing and healing ourselves, because in THIS lifetime, our mantra has been, THE BUCK STOPS HERE (meaning the dysfunctional rubble we've had to dig our way out of, to become emotionally responsible, rational, integrous human beings).
When we are surrounded by worker bees (or sheep) we sense a lack of harmony and compatibility. We are not with kindred souls, and we FEEL this disparity between them and us in our body. When we're new at this, we feel a little raw~ so it's common sense to avoid un-harmonious exposure as much as possible!
Keep doing what you're doing. Stay in the moment. Stop worrying about tomorrow, and go with the flow of what FEELS best for you NOW. You're in a transitional phase in your life-cycle. A surprising number of people are going thru major metamorphosis right now (caterpillar to butterfly kind of transformation). It's a growth process, and it's all good.
Thank you for your insight to this topic. I would be interested in your voice as to why women also choose suicide. When at my personal darkness nadir I imagined it would be to an end to the endless inner repetitive voices. Seeking a cool place of quiet and comfort - no more "a life of quiet desperation." And people telling you to snap out of it. Thank you for insight. We've lost too many sweet souls. And as you mentioned years ago - the wrong people are in therapy.
Abysmal depression is not a gender-specific issue. Plenty of females kill themselves. Some do it by remaining in a toxic relationship. Others take a handful of pills. Still others drink themselves to death, OD on drugs OR drive their car off a cliff. Men seem to prefer more violent exits over those chosen by women.
Thank you. And for your guidance.